The insipid disquisition of a burghal savage

2007-03-27T00:09:00.000-05:00

As a guy, you’re expected to know a lot about a lot of things. But who has time to sift through all the crap of the information age and uncover the really critical stuff—like what to do if you’re snake-bit, the long-lost lyrics to the Bonanza theme song, and the final word on one-handed bra unfastening? I combed a million sources to compile this definitive list and had one hell of a lot of fun doing it. From the practical to the intriguing to the sublime, here are more than 100 things I think you’ll be very glad to know.

Which paint to useOil-based on raw wood exteriors; latex everywhere else. Flat on walls, semigloss on moldings, semigloss or high-gloss on kitchen and bathroom walls. For oil-based paints, use bristle brushes and clean up with paint thinner; for latex, use nylon brushes and clean up with warm, slightly soapy water.

The best and worst bets in Vegas In the long run, the best game to play is blackjack—play smart and the house edge is only half a percent, i.e., the casino averages just 50¢ profit on each $100 bet. Throw in card counting and you can sometimes gain a tiny advantage over the house, at least until they smash your thumbs with a ball-peen hammer. Worst bet: slot machines.

How to make rubber cementDissolve bits of rubber (old sneakers, police-car tires) in gasoline, using just enough liquid to do the job. Warning: Rubber cement doesn’t work on condoms, cheapskate.

Who painted the poker-playing dogs?Cassius Marcellus Coolidge (1844–1937). The name of the painting is No Monkeying, and you can get a reproduction for $15 by calling The Print Gallery at (800) 848-4278.

The best time of day to buy shoes: Late afternoon, when your feet have swollen to their largest size.

Why girth beats length Most of the vagina’s nerve endings are in its outermost third. As long as you’re not lost in your own pubic hair, you’re probably long enough.

How to keep chisels and other bladed tools rust-freeStore them in wooden boxes. The wood absorbs moisture in the air, preventing rust.

The just-to-be-sure testicle check. The American Institute for Cancer Research recommends you give your balls a once-over once a month. Right after you shower:1. Stand in front of the mirror and check for swelling on the skin of the scrotum.2. Roll each testicle between the thumb and index finger; this shouldn’t be painful. Don’t worry if they’re slightly different sizes, but take note if one’s a significantly larger than the other. Feel for lumps. 3. Check the epididymis, the tube behind each testicle. (This ferries sperm from the testis to the outside world.) 4. If you feel pain or find lumps anywhere, see a doctor. You may just have an infection, but it could be the Big C, and getting the news early is absolutely key to keeping trouble at bay. (FYI, women are often the first to detect testicular lumps in their partners.)

How to win more coin tosses. Always call tails. On U.S. coins, the heads side, with its big, solid portrait, weighs infinitesimally more: In the course of 10,000 tosses, the lighter tails side will come up an extra 50 or so times.

The logic behind Mount Rushmore Washington—the nation’s founding Jefferson—the nation’s political philosophy Lincoln—the nation’s preservation Roosevelt—the nation’s expansion and conservation.

The Rolling Rock bottle mystery. The mysterious “33” printed on bottles of Rolling Rock immediately below the company motto is an accident: It’s the proofreader’s count of the number of words in the motto, and the printers left it in. The 33 words: Rolling Rock / From the glass lined tanks of Old Latrobe. We tender this premium beer for your enjoyment, as a tribute to your good taste. It comes from the mountain springs to you.

The little “threads” floating in your eyes when you look at the sky are called floaters. They’re the remains of the hyaloid artery, which carried blood to your eye when you were still in your mommy’s tummy and which disintegrated shortly after your birth. Floaters can be removed by thrusting a sharp stick straight into the center of the eyeball. (Warning: Pain and extreme blindness will result.)

What temperature to serve wine at Quality reds: 59°–65°F; lesser reds, rosés, complex whites: 50°–55°F; typical whites: 46°–50°F; sweet whites, champagne: 43°–46°F. How to let red wine “breathe” Decant it into glasses; leaving it in the bottle doesn’t do jack. Let old reds breathe for one hour; younger reds need two to three hours.

How to keep her pregnancy-free. A woman’s most fertile in the middle of her menstrual cycle, meaning she’s least likely to get pregnant if you bang her just before or just after her period. Particularly if there’s a condom or two on your johnson.

How to catch bigger fish. Cast your line close to the bank. The current in the middle of a stream is four times faster than that near the bank, and the faster the water, the smaller the fish.

Never rub snow on frostbite, put butter on a burn, or try to “cut out” or suck the poison from a snakebite. All are of the sounds-so-stupid-it-must-be-true school of misguided folk wisdom. Instead: Put frozen extremities in cold water to which you gradually add hot water; clean and carefully bandage burns; and leave snakebites alone, just send for help and stay as still as possible. And try to get some sleep—sounds like you had a rough day.

What that weird metallic taste in your mouth when you chew on aluminum foil is Electric current. The aluminum reacts with the water and fillings in your mouth to form a tiny battery.

Why left-handed pitchers are called southpaws Because their left arms point south during games. How so? Baseball diamonds are oriented such that batters face east so they don’t look into the sun during afternoon games. Go ahead, draw it on a napkin.

The logic behind area-code numbers The three-digit codes were assigned back in 1948, when all phones were rotary. To keep traffic lines clear, the quickly dialed low-digit codes were doled out to the most frequently called places: Manhattan got 212, L.A. 213, Chicago 312, etc. Nowadays push buttons have obliterated this concern, which is why Brooklyn’s 718 is no problem.

How to preserve meat in the wild. Slice your kill into long, thin strips; knead tons of salt into it; then cover the meat (to keep the flies off) and let it sit for four hours. Spread it out under a hot sun for a few days to dry it, or smoke it over burning green twigs for 24 hours. When dry and shriveled, the meat will last a year and can be eaten right from the jerky bag.

How to grow anthrax in your bathroom Yeah, right.

The remedy for poison ivyBaking soda and water. Lather, rinse, repeat.

How the Wint-o-green Lifesavers spark works. The phenomenon of crunched Wintogreen Lifesavers sparking in the dark is called triboluminescence. Chewing on the sugar crystals momentarily releases electrons, giving the crystals a positive charge; nitrogen molecules in the air, their outer electrons attracted to the charge, stick to the electron-free zones on the crystals. The electrons from the sugar crystals, returning, crash into the nitrogen molecules, releasing ultraviolet radiation. And methyl salicylate, the wintergreen flavoring used in Life Savers, glows blue when flooded by UV rays. Tastes great, too.

How to make a clambake. Build yourself a big ol’ raging bonfire, then find a shitload of stones and throw ’em all into the embers. When the stones are hot as hell, kick ’em around so they form a layer, throw wet seaweed on top, dump the clams on top of that, and toss more seaweed on top of the clams. Pound beer for 45 minutes to an hour until clams signify doneness by opening up; chow down. Don’t eat clams that don’t open.

The Seven Wonders of the Modern World (compiled in 1931, after we’d thrown up the Empire State Building)

Empire State Building (U.S.)
The Great Pyramids at Giza (Egypt)
Leaning Tower of Pisa (Italy)
Washington Monument (U.S.)
Eiffel Tower (France)
Taj Mahal (India)
Hagia Sophia (Turkey—apparently some tasty delicacy)

The skinny on the citizen’s arrest. In the Middle Ages (that’s yesterday for Nebraskans), believe it or not, you had approximately as much authority as the sheriff to make an arrest. Thanks to the legal tradition of posse comitatus, or “power of the county,” and our citizens’-rights-preserving Ninth Amendment, you still retain much of that power. Generally speaking, you can arrest and detain a criminal suspect if the crime was committed in your presence or you have good reason to believe the guy’s guilty (unfortunately, he can’t just look funny); if the crime is a felony; or if you can turn the person over to a real cop in timely fashion. Beyond this, laws vary from state to state: In liberal Massachusetts, you can be sued by your detainee for false arrest/imprisonment, while in badass Kentucky you’re actually allowed to kill your suspect if he tries to flee. In no state are citizens permitted to flay live detainees and/or make them eat their own testicles.

How to relieve thirst in the wild. A pebble held in the mouth will stimulate saliva production and kill that dry-mouth feeling. Stay on the lookout for neon bar signs.

There are seven days in the week because the ancients counted seven “wandering stars” in the heavens. These were sun (Sunday), the moon (Monday), and the five visible planets. Although the planets were all named for Roman gods—Mars, Mercury, Jupiter, Venus, and Saturn—the names of our days (apart from Saturn’s day, Saturday) come to us from their Norse counterparts: Tiw’s day, Woden’s day, Thor’s day, and Freya’s day.

One great Apocalypse Now monologue, by Captain Willard “Everyone gets everything he wants. I wanted a mission, and for my sins they gave me one. Brought it up to me like room service. It was a real choice mission, and when it was over, I’d never want another.”

To ward off diseases, wear gloves, not a face mask. Handshakes transmit viruses seven times more effectively than sneezes do.

The battle in which the most U.S. military personnel were killed or wounded. Antietam, hands down: September 17, 1862, with a sausage-factory-like 22,726 casualties. A turning point in the Civil War, the battle for this Maryland creek provided the country its bloodiest day ever, partly because it was so pivotal (the Union victory ended Lee’s invasion of the North, turning the tide against the Confederacy), but mostly because Americans fought on both sides and basically blew the shit out of each other instead of, you know, the Vietnamese or something. This single day’s work cost more American lives than the Revolution, the War of 1812, the Mexican War, and the Spanish-American War combined. Oh, yeah, and the Gulf war. Nine times as many fell here as bloodied the beaches on D-day.

You get the drift. How to say “You are beautiful” to girls of other lands

In Spain: “Usted es hermosa” (oo-sted ess er-mo-sa)
In Portugal: “Você é bonita” (vo-say eh boo-nee-ta)
In France: “Vous êtes belle” (voo zayt bel)
In Italy: “Siete bella” (see-ay-tay beh-la)
In Germany: “Sie sind schön” (zee zint shurn)

Eastwood’s three spaghetti westerns.
Fistful of Dollars, For a Few Dollars More, and The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly. The term spaghetti western comes not from what Clint’s signature motherfucker did to bad guys’ faces, but from the fact that these were Italian films (in this case, directed by Sergio Leone) about the American West.

The fastest production car on earth The McLaren F1, a bargain at just $1 million, has a top speed something north of 235 mph. It’s also the best accelerator available: Its V-12 lets the F1 rocket to 100 mph in just 3.6 seconds.

Trivia tidbits (a handful of oddities worth knowing)
There’s no such fish as a sardine. Sardine is a generic term used for herring, pilchard, and the other small fish they pack in those little oblong cans.
Chocolate screws up dogs’ hearts. It can be lethal to our canine pals—one Hershey’s bar is more than enough to kill a puppy.
Some bullets can’t be “silenced.” The noise produced by bullets that move fast enough to break the sound barrier, such as the 9 mm, can’t be deadened because the bullets emit tiny sonic booms.
Sharks and crocodiles are not, technically speaking, dinosaurs. The families of both, however, have remained essentially unchanged since the Paleozoic era, making them among the earth’s most long-lived species.
Movie in which the word fuck is used the most times: GoodFellas, with 246 occurrences. Runner-up: Scarface, with 206.
Poker’s dead man’s hand, the cards “Wild Bill” Hickok was reported to have been holding when he was shot dead, is aces over 8s.
Greyhounds have the sharpest eyes of any dog breed. You can glaze ’em over good with a nice bag of M&M’s, though.
The first use of the vibrator was the early 1880s, by doctors seeking to combat “female hysteria.” The docs noted the calming effect of the orgasms it produced.

Nine quotations every guy should know

“When the candles are out, all women are fair.” —Plutarch

“Ale, man, ale’s the stuff to drink / For fellows whom it hurts to think.” —A.E. Housman

“Kill the body and the head will die.” —Joe Frazier

“A woman is only a woman, but a good cigar is a smoke.” —Rudyard Kipling

“A pint of sweat will save a gallon of blood.” —George Patton

“Try everything once except incest and folk dancing.” —Sir Thomas Beecham

“Some night you’ll catch a punch between the eyes and all of a sudden you’ll see three guys in
the ring against you. Pick out the one in the middle and hit him, because he’s the one who hit you.” —Jack Dempsey

“You can get much farther with a kind word and a gun than with a kind word alone.” —Al Capone

“I swing big, with everything I’ve got. I hit big or I miss big. I like to live as big as I can.” —Babe

Ruth Five no-fail fashion rules

Match the socks to the trousers and you can’t go wrong.

If you weigh more than you’d like, stick with dark colors. Or hide behind objects even larger than you.

If you’re investing in one nice suit, you want tropical wool: It’s warm but breathable, so you can wear it all year round.

Never wear suspenders with a belt. That’s clown shit, man.

Don’t ever wear any colors named for foods. Red, yes; cranberry, no. Pink, yes; salmon, no.10 things we shouldn’t have to tell you

Dance lessons are for girls.

You can have long hair, you can have a mustache, and you can wear a pink shirt, but not all three at the same time.

Eggs, corned-beef hash, and Tabasco sauce is the breakfast of the gods.

The Godfather and The Godfather Part II were glorious and magnificent; The Godfather Part III reeked like a burning house made of chicken shit and stuffed with dead dogs.

The button on the fly of your boxer shorts is just for show.

When smashing a beer can on your forehead, don’t forget to pinch the sides before making contact. Otherwise you’ll end up with an embarrassing “reverse coaster” on your noggin that will outlast the hangover.

You flip a steak one time—and one time only.

Don’t help a woman knock your pals. Ever.

In reality, Godzilla would beat King Kong’s butt six ways to Sunday. No questions, no contest, just a brutal, one-sided hairy-ass-kicking.

Protect the testicles. If you hurt yourself in the wild, clean your wounds with your urine When it leaves the body, it’s sterile, which is more than you can say of any water you’re likely to find.

Science “R” Us: Cool knowledge nuggets from the world of science

Pluto becomes the planet farthest from the sun again this year. It isn’t always: Its elliptical orbit brings what is usually the outermost planet inside the orbit of Neptune for 20 years of its two-and-a-half-century “year,” or revolution around the sun. It’s been inside Neptune’s orbit since 1979 and will now move outside it until 2247, coincidentally the year we’re scheduled to hear the last of this Clinton–Lewinsky nonsense.

In a landslide, the millions of tons of soil and rock sliding down a mountain can move so fast the air doesn’t have time to get out from under them. As a result, the mass rides on a cushion of compressed air and may not touch the mountainside at all on the way down, which further accelerates the slide, sometimes to more than 100 mph.

In case you’re ever trapped in your house by an earthquake, a hurricane, or a pack of hungry zombies, know that there are 30 to 40 gallons of drinkable water in your hot-water heater (turn on the drain faucet at the bottom) and another five to seven in the flush tank of your toilet (serve your mother-in-law first).

The newest, heaviest dangerously radioactive and ridiculously short-lived element on the periodic table is No. 112, ununbium, discovered in 1996 by Hofmann, Ninov, and Hessberger and made by fusing zinc and lead. Ununbium’s boring name is Latin for “one, one, two—um.” (A disturbing trend: The previous two elements are No. 111, unununium, and No. 110, ununnilium; sadly, we will not see “scoobidoobium” in our lifetime.)

The “fat Oprah” of the elements, this transition metal has an atomic mass of 277, with 165 neutrons, 112 protons, and 112 electrons in seven energy levels. Its half-life is just 280 milliseconds—about how long it takes you to break up with a girl after you notice her troll-doll key chain.

How to pick a ripe watermelon. Forget thumping on the hull or pressing the stem end: Color’s the key. The ripest, tastiest melons are an appetizing red on the inside, not that watery, why-bother pink, and that richness of color’s reflected on the outside. Look for a melon whose dark bands are wider than its light bands. The higher the ratio of dark to light outside, the darker the color (and the sweeter the meat) inside. Alternate method: Split it open with an ax and shove some in your face. How was it?

Bump up your chili. Whether or not a man gets into heaven may well depend on his individual chili recipe. Here are three quick tips to boost your big bowl o’ hunka-hunka burnin’ beef.
Marinate. This is not optional; it tenderizes the meat and brings out the best of its flavor.

How long to marinate? All night long is superb, but an hour will do just fine. (Hey, just like threesomes!)

Sear the meat. After you’ve chopped the beef into cubes, toss ’em around in a skillet over high heat until browned all over. This seals juices and flavor in little meat packages.
Drop in a cinnamon stick, then remove it before serving. Not cinnamon sugar or that powdered eggnog-dusting stuff, but the real deal. It adds a very cool complexity that guests can’t put their finger on…and can’t get enough of. Trust us.

How to interpret equestrian statues. It is a convention—though one oft refuted—that the stance of the horse clues you in to the fate of the rider: If the horse is rearing, its rider died in battle; if only one leg’s in the air, he was wounded in battle; if all four hooves are on the ground, he died of other causes (usually syphilis).

How Truman and MacArthur fell out At one point in the Korean War, China intervened on North Korea’s behalf. General MacArthur called for a plan to atomize Manchuria and the cities of mainland China with 30 to 50 nuclear detonations. Truman, on the other hand, wanted to contain the conflict. MacArthur spoke out in the press against the president’s policies. Because the media of the time considered the subject of heads of state getting blow jobs from their interns off-limits, this insubordination was big news. Finally Truman sacked Mac, and the American public went nuts. Congressional Republicans seized upon the uproar and called a hearing about Truman’s war policy. Mac famously testified that there was no substitute for victory and that it was high time America started kicking ass. This partisan power play incited a media frenzy, with the public solidly in the asskicker’s camp. Truman strategically kept mum, his implicit message being that peace was the substitute.

How to remember which hand beats which in poker. The troublesome middle range of the hand hierarchy: A full house beats a flush beats a straight. How to remember this rule? Picture a house surrounding a flush toilet that has a straight piece of something floating in it.

When to split cards in blackjack. To truly maximize your odds, memorize every splitting scenario (and everything else) on the probability-based basic strategy chart, which is available in books and on pocket cards wherever gambling’s legal. If you’ve got better things to do, these four rules of thumb do a damned good job in virtually all splitting situations.
Always split 8s or aces. Reasoning: You rid yourself of those bust-friendly 16s or 12s.
Never split 10s (or face cards). Reasoning: Only an idiot would give up a pretty-sure-thing 20.
Never split 4s or 5s. Reasoning: You shouldn’t trade in your good chances at 18s or 20s for pairs of crappy 14s or 15s.
Split any other pair when the dealer has a visible 4, 5, 6, or 7. Reasoning: Never miss a chance to double your bet when the dealer’s likely to bust.

How to find and operate the G-spot The legendary G-spot, long sought by Cortés, Henry Hudson, and Amerigo Vespucci, is a soft, cushiony area in the roof of the vagina. Insert finger, curl it back and up toward her navel, and gently stroke toward the vagina’s opening—there ya go. Some women love this and can even ejaculate a fluid from G-spot stimulation alone (well, that and a DiCaprio fantasy, though they often refuse to admit it). Others find that having this spot touched is irritating or tickles. Choose bride accordingly.

How to gauge the doneness of a steak without slicing into itYou can determine when a steak has finished cooking—whether it’s supposed to be rare, medium, or well-done—by giving it the finger. Press your forefinger into it lightly, as if picking up ink from a fingerprint pad, then touch your head and compare their firmness. A well-done steak should feel as firm as your forehead; a medium steak, as firm as your chin; and a rare steak, as firm as the end of your nose. Ain’t that cool?

Why Everest’s just tall enough Mount Everest, earth’s highest peak, is 29,028 feet tall. If it were much higher, you couldn’t climb it without wearing a spacesuit. At around 35,000 feet, even inhaling 100 percent pure oxygen won’t suffice to keep you alive. Why? Because the extremely low pressure at that altitude lets nitrogen bubbles enter your bloodstream (the phenomenon deep-sea divers call the bends), which leads to embolisms and sometimes death.

Numbers you should know

Sperm can live in a woman’s body for up to five days.
You have 100,000 or so hairs on your head; you lose between 25 and 125 a day, more if you work at a magazine.
Continental drift amounts to about two centimeters a year.
On the clearest night, under ideal conditions, you can see about 4,000 stars with the naked eye.
70 percent of all women can’t reach orgasm from intercourse alone—or won’t, anyway.
The electricity needed to power a light bulb costs about 1.3¢ an hour.
Your body contains about 23 feet of small intestine and five feet of large intestine, including the smelly part right at the end.
Ejaculate exits your wanger at 12 mph.

Test Your Own Blood AlcoholThe legal limit is .08 percent in 16 states, .10 in 34 states. But what does this mean for you in the bar? For a 160-pound guy (chicks and little guys get drunk on less), here’s the guide for drinks consumed in one hour (nursing a drink longer lessens the damage): Blood-alcohol concentration - Drink equivalent (per hour) - Buzz behavior
.03 - 2 - A warm sensation addles your brain; you become expert at pinball and expressing affection for your friends, a bit worse at tongue twisters and gear-shifting.
.08 - 4 - Standing, speaking start becoming difficult; you’ve stopped noticing who, if anyone, is paying for your drinks; any words are now fightin’ words.
.18 - 8 - Even a scabby, snaggle-toothed, leprous, two-headed grandmother with British teeth and a peg leg suddenly looks like Jewel in a Grammy dress.
.28 - 12 - You piss pants, pass out.
.38 - 16 - Rigor mortis if you’re not dead, you’ll certainly wish you were tomorrow morning.

How to unclasp a bra with one hand1. With the palm of your dominant hand facing her, slide your middle finger under the bra strap, right between the clasp and her unbelievable body. 2. Pull the clasp out away from her with your middle finger, and pinch the strap between your thumb and ring finger. Pull your middle finger out, and begin to hum “Moon River.”3.Slowly snap your fingers to accomplish mission. If she has a double-clasp bra, you may have to snap twice; don’t get flustered. Practice on Grandma if necessary.

An easy way to tie on a fishhookTie a three- to four-inch loop in the end of your line and poke the loop (not the knot) through the eye of the hook and over the hook itself. Pull. The fishhook can be removed without untying the knot simply by reversing the process.

8 Things You Don’t Know. Nothing’s more fun than knowing the real scoop and using it to shoot down some misinformed bozo at the bar. In my noble effort to know something about everything, we guys have perpetuated some major misconceptions.

An American, Abner Doubleday, invented baseball. This myth was purposely fabricated by the dangerously patriotic founder of the Spalding sporting goods company in the early 1900s. In reality, 250 years ago the British were playing a primitive version called both “rounders” and “base-ball”, and Jane Austen refers to baseball by name in 1798’s Northanger Abbey, 40 years before its supposed invention at Cooperstown.

The Sphinx’s nose was shot off by Napoleon’s troops. Actually, it was busted off in the 1300s by an Islamic militant—they were trouble even then—who considered it a pagan idol and therefore blasphemous.

A captain of a ship at sea can perform weddings. Seems logical enough, the couple being in international waters and all, but it ain’t true: In fact, U.S. Navy regulations, and those of the navies of many other countries, specifically prohibit ships’ commanders from joining people in marriage.

Your hair and nails continue to grow after you die. Nope—but the fleshy parts of your body recede from your hair and nails, making them appear longer.

Bumblebee flight violates the laws of aerodynamics. Nothing that flies violates the laws of aerodynamics—that’s why they’re laws.

Humans use just 10 percent of their brains. Only true of Home Shopping Network customers. Because the brain’s highly specialized, we only use a tiny fraction of its cells at any one time—it’s closer to 5 percent—but we use virtually all of it over the course of a day.

Cutting/shaving hair makes it grow faster. Not by the hair of your chinny-chin-chin: How fast hair grows back, like how quickly a man goes bald, is simply a matter of genetics.

Einstein was a crappy student. You wish. He was gifted at Latin and Greek as a boy, and doing college-level physics at 11. Yes, he got expelled from high school, but only because he couldn’t master French—and as a pre-WWI German, he probably assumed France would be speaking German soon enough anyway.

Presidential succession Vice president, speaker of the House, president pro tempore of the Senate, then the secretaries of the cabinet positions in the order of their creation (secretary of state, secretary of the Treasury, etc.). You’re somewhere between Richard Nixon's shop teacher and that dopey guy from Too Close for Comfort.

Mysteries of the English Language. Don’t touch that word or phrase until you know where it’s been. Suspected word origins: a quick language lesson you might actually use.

“Buy the farm” Origin: In the early days of aviation, U.S. pilots sometimes suffered fatal crashes into barns and the like; after a farmer successfully sued for damages, the pilot’s life had effectively paid for the farm.

“Rain cats and dogs”Origin: Dogs and cats used to hunt on the interconnected rooftops of 16th-century London, and powerful downpours would occasionally wash them into the street.

“Flash in the pan”Origin: Early guns required you to light an explosive powder, called priming powder, in the flat “pan” of the gun, which then would set off the main charge and fire ye olde grapeshot or whatever. If the priming burned but didn’t light the main charge, it was just a—well, you know.

“Indian summer”Origin: In 18th-century New England, when the natives were restless, colonists had to hide within the walls of their forts until autumn, when the colder weather kept the Indians away. If summer intruded again for a week or two, it brought the possibility of the Indians’ return. It was not welcome.

“Pull the wool over his eyes”Origin: Wealthy Brits of the 17th and 18th centuries were fond of wearing woolen wigs (Americans took—think George Washington). To punish those engaging in this sissy practice, brigands and highwaymen would tug their victim’s hairpieces down over their faces, the more easily to relieve them of their pounds and pence.

“Red herring”Origin: Smoked herring (the process turns them red) were once used to train dogs to follow a scent; escaped prisoners in the know would try to get a few and toss them around to distract their canine pursuers.

“Bring home the bacon”Origin: From the greased-pig-catching contests at English county fairs. If you held on to the porker, you could take it home and eat it—hence the phrase.

“Red-light district”Origin: In the early days of the railroad, trains’ caution lights were red-painted oil lamps. Railroad workers would carry them around with them between shifts and hang them outside the brothels they frequented.

How to say “I love you” in 13 languages
Japanese “Ai shite imasu”
Hawaiian “Aloha wau la oe”
Irish “T‡im i ngr‡ leat”
Hebrew “Ani ohev otakh”
Swedish “Jag Šlskar dig”
German “Ich liebe dich”
Eskimo “Nagligivaget”
Chinese “Wo ai ni”
Spanish “Te amo”
French “Je t’aime”
Italian “Ti amo”
Greek “S’agapo”
American “Yobringoverthatsweetstuffbaby”

The bowline (bo-lin), most excellent of all the Boy Scout knots you forgot, is perfect for tying a loop in a string or rope. Whatever size loop you make, it wont slip once drawn tight—which means it’s ideal for dog leashes, bondage restraints, and the like—yet it can be undone easily no matter how tight youÕve pulled it. Try it out right now with a shoelace: We think you’ll agree.

The long-lost words to the Bonanza theme song. Didn’t know the song had lyrics? They were written for the pilot, but were allegedly deemed so awful they were quietly scrapped immediately thereafter (and even scrubbed from the pilot in reruns). You be the judge. Here’s a sample of the words—you better fuckin’ know the tune. We got a right to pick a little fight,Bonanza! If anyone fights anyone of us,He’s gotta fight with me. We’re not one to stand up and run, Bonanza! Anyone of us who starts a little fuss Knows he can count on me. One for four. Four for one. That’s how it must be, We’ll make our stand On our land This we guarantee! Written by Jan Livingston and Ray Evans. Published by Jay Livingston/St. Angelo Music Jerry-rig it!

How to turn a coffee cup into a barometer. Relatively high air pressure, indicating fair weather, pushes down on the center of the surface of the coffee, and bubbles float to the middle of the cup. Low pressure, indicating clouds and rain, produces a vacuum that pulls up the center of the coffees surface and results in bubbles collecting at the rim.

How to turn a TV into a tornado predictor Tornados create electrical interference on the Channel 2 frequency. Tune your TV to that channel (whether or not there’s programming on Channel 2 in your town), turn the brightness almost all the way down, and wait: If the picture suddenly brightens, there’s a twister within 20 miles. Get Toto and head for the cellar.

How to turn a watch into a compass The sun’s position on the compass varies with time of day, as do the positions of your watch’s hands: By combining the two equations, you can solve for direction. Just move your arm so your watch’s hour hand points to the sun. Halfway between the hour hand and the number 12 is south. (The trick doesn’t work at high noon, for obvious reasons—go have a gunfight and try again later.)

A different kind of fun

2007-03-03T07:09:00.000-05:00

"I have to say...

I enjoy doing good things for people. Not really for the overall good of mankind, but for the personal self satisfaction that it gives me."

Tonight I got a text message from a..a person well call "Drunky" It starts out simple enough. " Hey whats up? " I respond.

" Chillin u?"

"Yobh im fvbked up! Lol, come to the bar!"

Now even though it was Friday, I was in at 11: 50 pm. I had some studying to do. So I get this text and am thinking hmmm...payback with Mel Gibson is on and I really like this movie and do I really want to leave... my phone rings.

"Heyy threre, ccan you coome out!"

"It's late."

"But youu wavt to com to the barr!"

"No, not really, I still have some studying to do."

"Ok but wannntt to hang outt."

Anyway this goes on for about 5 min. I say call me back when your leaving the bar. So I go
back to my movie and things are fine. Then the phone rings again...same person. "OK, I'm going to drive to your house" (cold shudder)

The slurred speech was only slightly greater than the UV radiation on mercury. I can tell that things are going down hill from here, but since I've been stuck inside all night, WTF, Could be fun. So I reply,

"No! Wait there and who are you with...anyone?"

"Yeah my friend...here"... phone drops to floor... is kicked, and then retrieved.

"Stay out in front of the bar", I say. I'll come get you guys and take you and her home."

So off I go, on my errand of mercy and goodwill.
When I arrive at the bar parking lot, the two girls out front and a couple guys crowding in. Jackals. They smell "drunk girl" and are closing in. As I pull up they scatter...even the hyena knows to leave when the Lion is abroad. Especially when the Lion has 48 hollow point claws. Fucking Vultures.

I talk to the friend, The Sober One. The story is... 5-liquid cocaine's (See Google) 4-vodka and cranberries , 3-rum and cokes....and a partridge in a pear tree.
This would have been a good night start for me, but I got the distinct impression that she had drank all five liquid cocaine's back to back. whoops.

Talking to drunk people when you sober is either really funny or very annoying. Talking to Really Really Drunk people.. it just makes me feel silly. So it was between suppressed giggles as I try to explain to Drunky that the plan is that we are going to leave her car here and I will drive them to her friends house and then her home.

It was right at that time that her friend gets the keys and asked her if she's ready, At that moment, Drunky decides to shout across the parking lot,

"MY CAR DOESN'T LOCK SO DON'T WORRY IF YOU LEAVE THE KEYS IN IT!.

"SHIT" I say. Now the odds of her car being there in the morning have dropped by 85%. So now I have to have the more Sober friend, drive the Really Really Drunk friends car, while I drive the Really Really Drunk friend back to their house.

And so its goes that I end up at these nice people's house at 1:50 am, all the while explaining to the Really Really Drunk person that she has to work tomorrow at 9:30 am.
Now during the drive, there was a lot of talking...slurring...yelling out of windows and fun things like that. I was called some mean names and was told that I was...well unpleasant things were said. The rest was Gobbledygook. Things like,

guzoinkdiddle,

klappamaticallitygoshic,

blsbpewfglknrwlknjwerglknjeglknerglkngelj,

kasakesakisakosaku,

abberflaggen,

flibbitygibber,

plapittanhkolnoronsiperdappledo,

glhughlughullgblugluhblugblugbluglulgu,

dowabodagober,

woperabaverpod,

gaflblaflgburbubrurbkaljawkapquin

Most of it based that I had decided to take her to her friends house to sleep it off. One of the quotes I was able to translate such was:

"Oudafukharoutusyetatindmunk, fuck you"

Which when broken down becomes:

"Ou-da-fuk-har-ou-tu-sye-tat-in-dmunk, fuck you."

Or once more in final translation:

"Who the fuck are you to say that I'm drunk, fuck you."

It's funny because the "Fuck you" at the end came out in perfect English the first two times.
Anyway we made it to the house and that's when the 4Th liquid cocaine hit. It was classic...it was in mid-sentence.

"I'm fine, I'm not going to be sick, I'm...whoa! Everything spinning....!" Drunky goes limp and stops talking.

( Hr-88bpm/RR-14, Normal/AOx3/Eyes = delayed/Alert to voice)

(I smile. Aha, the memories.)

I, with the help of her friend, got her out of the truck and into the house, sprawled in a great kickstand position. (See First aid manual for kickstand position or just Google it ) and looked around. " I need a bucket or large bowl....STAT! I was really enjoying this now. A large stainless steel bowl was produced and I set it next to her.

I explained some very simple things to her such as, this is the floor, do not leave it or you will fall and die. This is a bowl, it is to puke in. Here is water, it will help you not die.
I sat with them and smoke a couple cigarettes and kept my eye on her. The Sober friend suggested food, so her hubby and I made a run to Denny's for a pick-up. While he was inside I got a text from The Sober One...." She is on floor...alive but getting sick...but still alive."
So after we retrieve food I drive back to the house, drop off The Sober One's hubby and take my leave. Last word was vomitting had commenced and ended and sleep has begun.

Now some people might have been bothered by this, being disturbed late at night, and sometimes I have to admit that my patients have been strained by phone calls and trips such as these. But this time it was very enjoyable.

I began to think of the other possible ways tonight could have gone. What ifs started coming to mind. What if I had got the text and just drove to the bar to watch them drive home?
As a matter of fact, I think, had I stopped to think, that driving there just to watch what happened could have be more fun.

What if I just followed at a safe distance and watched them drive shit faced?
Would they have made it out of the parking lot of the bar?
Would the vultures have come in and tried to take them someplace....unpleasant?
Would they have wreaked?
Would they have gotten pulled over and arrested for DUI?

In all likelihood, the night would have gone fine without my intervention. But I do like the quiet contentment of being able help people out sometimes, even at my expense.

It makes me feel good.... about me.

The Man Rules

2007-02-19T14:19:00.000-05:00

We always hear the rules from the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules!
Please note... these are all numbered "1"ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.We need it up, you need it down.You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday and sports - It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail

1. Ask for what you want.

Let us be clear on this one:

Subtle hints do not work!

Strong hints do not work!

Obvious hints do not work!

Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a "Problem". See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of them makes you sad or angry, then we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something, Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1 Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it's just not worth the hassle. besides, we know you will bring it up again later.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1.. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

I'm sorry ladies

2007-01-18T03:58:00.000-05:00

I read this bulletin on a friends myspace and really think it should have a place here:

To all the girls who look past the nice guys:

I'm sorry that I bought you Flowers to tell you that I enjoy you.

I'm sorry that I was raised with respect enough not to sleep with you when you were drunk.

I'm sorry that my body's not ripped enough to "satisfy" your wants.

I'm sorry that I open your car door, and pull out your chair like I was raised.

I'm sorry that I'm not cute enough to be "your guy".

I'm sorry that I am genuine- not an asshole.

I'm sorry I don't have a huge bank account to buy you expensive things.

I'm sorry I like to spend quality nights at home cuddling with you, instead of at a club.

I'm sorry I would rather make love to you then just f**k you like some random guy.

I'm sorry that I am always the one you need to talk to, but never good enough to date.

I'm sorry that I always held your hair back when you threw up, and I didn't get mad at you for
puking in my car; but when we went out, you went home with another guy.

I'm sorry that I am there to pick you up at 4am when your “new man” hit you and dropped you off in the middle of nowhere, but not good enough to listen to me when I need a friend.

I'm sorry if I start not being there to be used as a doormat, only to be thrown to the side when a new asshole comes around.I'm sorry that you can't realize that I've been the one all along.

I'm sorry if you read this and know somebody like this but don't care.

I'm sorry that you can't accept me for who I am.

I'm sorry I cant ever do anything right, and nothing that I do is good enough to make it in your world.

I'm sorry I caught your boyfriend with another girl and told you about it, I thought that was what friends were for...

I'm sorry that I told you I loved you and actually meant it.I'm sorry that I talked to you for nine hours on Thanksgiving when your boyfriend was threatening you instead of spending time with my family.

I'm sorry that I listen to you at night talk about how you wish you could have done something different.

Ladies always bitch and bitch to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies next time you're bitching, maybe look up to see who you're bitching to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?" Because the person you are usually searching for is right there for you!

New years is upon us.

2006-12-31T02:09:00.000-05:00

Things are going well and I'm sleeping better. Another year has past and tomorrow I'm having a fire and some friends over. Jen came up from miami for a week and we got to catch up. Good to have her around again, if for no other reason that to bust on her for improper preventive motorcycle matainence...you know what you did! LOL

Diving has slowed down, but then it is winter so thats ok. I'm looking into getting a dive computer and a wetsuit...well maybe the computer. I like diving in board shorts and my coors light shirt. Makes me free like a rebel diver, and makes me look dumb as hell probably.

The case I was working on got picked up by the state and the mother fired the company from it. She was a very disturbed women and I'm really glad that DCF is now poking their nose around. It can only help our client, by keeps her away from him.

Well the big fuck shitty new is that Max , my german sheapard, went missing on Christmas morning. We noticed him gone around 6:30 am and at 9:00 am he had not returned. I went out driving around most of the day looking with no sign of him. Mom was devisated and I have to admit I was significantly upset too. I ignored the events of then day( two F2 tornados ran though the county, one right past my house) in a effort to find Max. By 10pm that night I had to deal with the fact that Max was either dead or stolen. In either case, not comming back. I can tell you that this made for a shitty christnas day and I spent it completely bumed.

Things were not much better the next day, I slept little that night and so around 6 in the morning I decided to try a few last things for Max. I email two talk radio show in the area and let them know and asked if they could let the listeners know. I also put an add in the pennysaver for lost dog. I really knew that it was not going to help but I had to try.

I was just finishing the ad when I heard my mom shreik " shaun! come quick!. Not knowing what was wrong I go bounding out of the house in my sandles and boxers with an AR-15. I meet her in the driveway and she yells" I FOUND MAX!" Where? I asked putting away the gun and trying to calm her down. "He's down a well!" she said....What? I gibbered. He fell down a well in a fernery two blocks away. So...ok...let go.

We drive over and sure enough, 25 feet down this 4 foot square concrete well shaft was max. Looking miserable standing in 8 inches of water, he let out a mornful howl. I get some " save the dog from the well gear" and with chris's help we get with to the surface wioth no trouble. Mom takes him to the vet, who treats him for mild exposure and gives some IV antibiotics and sends him home. No broken pelvis or legs or massive head injury. So for Christmas this year I go my dog back alive and well, which was more than I expected. I had to recant many "fuck christmas's "that day.

This year has been better than other, all things considered. I hope that next year is a good one for all of us. I hope we can all acomplish good things and feel like it was time well spent. I feel that this year was well spent and I like that feeling.

Have a happy new year everyone!

sungod

Insomnia = S X 3.14

2006-12-14T05:05:00.000-05:00

It's been six days without any real sleep. I'm starting to really get annoyed,...And I'm starting to see things. Tonight I swear I saw a large bat hanging in my room. I asked it to fuck off and it did. It's like I'm not ever really asleep or really awake. I really don't know what's causing this...But I can't make my brain shut up long enough to pass out. I will get tired enough and lay down, but if I don't knock out in 30 min or so, I'm not going to for another seven or eight hours.

The worst part of this is being bored. I can only play so much online and watch so much TV. I used to read to go to sleep in the past, but I now seen intent on finishing the book that night. I can't put it down. I read deception point by Dan brown in 14 hours non stop. I can go drinking and I'll be stay awake long enough to sober up, which is really shitty. I went though 30 ambein in the last 8 days. I logged about 18 hours sleep in that time. And fucking abein costs 127.00$ a fill!

I'm calling into work today and maybe tomorrow also. I don't care if they fire me. That job is stress central, besides that, no one else is dumb enough not to have quit by now. They can't keep anyone in my spot longer the two days before they quit, so I'm not worried too much.

Other than that things are going well. I got my new sound system installed in my truck and it is badass. Two new 6x9's, one 12'' sub and some new in-dash speakers, all pioneer. It really sounds great. It's the first subwoofer I've ever owned, So I feek like I fuckin 16 yro blasting anything I can find with high bass in it.

Jenn is back from med school and is here now. She drove up last night and is camping here for a few days. It's good to see her. She says she's not going back to the DR due to it being a waste of time and money. I don't blame her.

Scott and I have gotten in some really great dives in the last few month's. We went to devils den and back to Ginnie for the Spruce Creek Scuba thanksgiving day thingy. Acutually funny story there.

The last time scott and I went to Ginnie springs we actually missed a diveable spring due to all the tubers and swimmers in the water. So this time we made a point to get to that one. I was out in the Santa Fe river and it was beautiful. It's entrance is a large Ovid with a fallen tree much like blue springs. We went down past the log and over to the cave entrance. It was a medium size opening, about five feet high and maybe six wide and the current was ripping out of there. I got past the current and into the mouth and flipped on my dive light just for a quick peek.

The cave opened into two large passage ways. The one to the left stopped in about 15 Ft and the other went into the devils cave system. I hovered there for a min or so when I saw a light coming from way back off the the right. I shut off my dive light knowing that I wasn't supposed to have it there and watched for a sec. I could barley see two cave guys returning from the right. So I decided to exit. I swam slow out of the mouth and then turned, wanting to watch them exit. It is times like this that I really wish I had full face mask with intercom, cause I saw scott coming down to pass me. I don't think he cared if there was anyone else there, but I would have liked to have given him more warning. I don't think it would have mattered.

Anyway he goes into the mouth of the cave and maybe 5 or six feet past the entrance, Well within the ambient light rule. As the two cave divers came to the entrance, one of them goes over to scott and starts making really angry hand signals to him. I can't see from where I am and what it looks like to me, believe it or not, is the scott is now in a fist fight with this guy. I draw my dive knife and swim down to the entrance as fast and I can, only to find the cave diver scolding scott with hand signals. I sheath my knife and watch as the cave guy motions scott to the surface. He begins his accent and I follow. We make safety stop at 15 Ft and then surface. Scott and then first cave guy surface first and me and the cave guys buddy come up a min or so later. I then thought that we really were going to get into a knife fight. This pompous asshole was screaming at scott, telling him that he had no right to be there and that open water divers die there and was really going on and on...Like this was his fucking river and his spring and how dare dare we piss in his water. Scott, for the life of him, remained cool. And scott does not suffer fools easily. With more patience then the dahlia lama himself, scott calmly explained to the guy ( during the brief moments between scolding) that he was not and open water diver, that he was well within the ambient light rule, that this was not his personal playground, but the guy was not to be dissuaded, he kept going on and on and once he began to repeat himself , scott had to get slight louder saying " fuck man I got it! " He looked like he was going to keep going but I also said " We heard you the first six times fucko" We let it lie, which was a mistake because although scott is able to forget fools like him. I became more angry as the day went on. By the time I left I wanted to find the guy and take him at knife point to the middle of the river and hold his arrogant fucking head under till the bubbles stopped. Next time any fucking prick son of a bitch diver tries to correct me or scott anywhere, I'm going to knife him on the spot. No more waiting to hear the story of blah blah blah... And its really dangerous. I know it's fucking dangerous and its my choice asshole. If I want to risk my life..Its my life to risk.

Anyway, it was a great dive.

sungod

Insomnia

2006-12-10T02:58:00.000-05:00

I 've been working at a new company for a month now. I work with an autistic guy, part of voc rehab program. I have to retake the paramedic test. I got a 70 and needed an eighty to pass. i have been too busy to retake it yet, going to try in jan. Not much else going on. Been doing lots of scuba and loveing it. Gotta try to sleep now.

later sungod

MOOD- apathetic

2006-10-30T01:52:00.000-05:00

Well, it's all most Halloween and the parties are great. Went to two this weekend and had a blast. It's getting into late fall and I'm loving the weather. I'm going up for the paramedic state test in a week and am not looking forward to it. I don't know why but have really lost my enthusiasm for ems lately. It seems that most of my old friends in the biz have become arrogant pricks. So full of themselves that they are no fun anymore. Sucks man, when people that you thought you knew just seem to have such disdain for so many people, bitter contempt for the right of people to be stupid and make mistakes, even normal non-ems people. Everything has to be critiqued to the fullest extent. Man, just fucking leave it will you. Yes, he's drunk, and yes, he fell off the roof, What ? Like you never did anything that stupid! Bullshit! I am so sick of fucking hypocrite's, and it seems that nothing has changed. I was so over those type of assholes when I left ems the first time. I thought maybe it would have gotten better.

Maybe its cause the job hunt in the field is getting old. I have applied almost everywhere in the area and had little success. Most places want experience, but how do you get the experience as a medic if no one will hire without it. humpt. I have caught myself looking a trucking job sites and having moments of brief interest.

but the job just eats away at me as being pedestrian, just so boring. And I have such a snob side telling me that I'm too good for that and to just be content. On the other hand, I really miss the moving and the driving. I miss being in Florida one day and Texas the next. I really like operating the truck and being on the road. I just think I will always see the grass as greener on the other side. I love to start new projects, work them till they have lost the newness, and then move on. For all their flaws, truck drivers are real people and most of them are too busy working to be concerned with the flaws of the rest of the people on the planet, Except for bad drivers. I have heard hour long conversations about how bad this or that person was. lol.

I decided that if I haven't gotten hired in a ems position by late spring of 07, I'm going back on the road. I have even placed some apps for an emt posistion, but if it doesn't pan out by then I'm gone. If I can't break back into ems by then, I'll let it rest for a while and try to push my other career path for a bit. Maybe after a season on the road things will change. It's not like I'm really missing anything here. Everybody is busy with life to hang anymore and I have found that I'd rather be at home online than out at the bar or anywhere for the matter.

Right now the only real enjoyment I get is from my scuba diving. Which I love more everything I go. I have another trip planned this weekend to devils den is Gainesville. I'm really looking forward to it.

I'm really tired right now and its been a long weekend.
I'm going to just relax and try to let my self go with the flow. I'm just getting bitchy and not helping anything. Maybe tomorrow will be better.

sungod357

Barnacles and diesel fumes

2006-10-25T01:55:00.000-05:00

It was 6:45 when the knock on my door came. I knew it instinctively. It meant no good. "Are you still going on the dive today?" SHIT! This notice meant that my alarm didn't wake me up and that I was already running late.

I jumped out of bed, grabbed my bag and tossed in my wallet and phone. I found the keys and whisked out the door. I hit the road and hauled ass to New Smyrna Beach. My phone already had two texts and a voicemail, all from Scott. I called him and let him know I was on my way. I drove 90mph most of the way and made it just in time to sign in and get my gear to the boat.

We left the dock and made our way to the dive site. It was a beautiful Sunday morning and we spend the ride out watching the morning shrimp boats and the coastline disappear into the distance. I set my gear up and got my regulators on my first tank. It took about 25 min to get to the wreck. It was an old Russian barge. It had been split in two by the hurricane in 95. After the captain set the anchor, we donned our gear and Scott and I made our entry. We swam to the anchor line and began our descent.

The water was warm and the visibility was ok. We followed the line to the site. Once there we swam over the left side and down along the haul toward the back of the ship.
There were lots of brightly colored fish and small octopus in the area. We made our way through the schools and around to the back of the wreck. There was a small opening and I followed Scott in. We had to move slowy to avoid getting tangled and had to kinda pick and chose our way through the large pieces of debris and torn steel. We made our way through to another opening and what I thought was the back side on the ship. The second half of the wreck was 40ft away from the section we were in. I began to make my way over to the next section. I couldn't see it yet and as I move slowly that direction, I caught movement off to the right. I stopped and looked. It was a huge barracuda . . . and he had friends. It was an outlaw gang of bad fish, and they were looking for trouble. At that point, it occurred to me that I looked like a guy that might be fun to harass, rob and leave crying on the ocean floor. I turned and began my swim back to the ship, to hide there with the rest of the bait fish. Scott was right next to me and as we swam back I checked my compass. It seemed to me that we were heading a little more to the right then we should be. I looked over to Scott and motioned us to the left more.

It was at this point that I had already made a critical mistake. This was my first ocean dive and Scott had way more experience than I did. But would I let that stop me from correcting the only person that could have the correct information at the time. HELL NO! So in my continued attempt to be right in all things, I...in my infinite ignorance decide to insist that Scott was swimming the wrong direction. He swam over to me and we continued on the course I was so sure was correct. It was after about 35 seconds that I realized that we should have been over the wreck site by now.

Scott knew this already, but had other things to deal with, Like getting us out of the swift underwater current that I had so fantastically put us in. Taking the lead, He grabbed my BC and we began to swim, hard! About 30 seconds of that and Scott decided that we were not making any real head way and signaled for us to surface. We made our way up slowly and after the safety stop, found ourselves 200 yards off the port side of the dive boat! SHIT! Add another make next to "Shaun almost got us killed"
In the universal record of Dumb Asses.

After a grueling 10 min swim against the current, we make it to the boat and get aboard. " How was the dive?" asked the only female dive master on board. " Salty" was the only word I could sputter out without vomiting all over her. I made it to the bench and doffed my gear. That's when the pain came. Like an iron fist squeezing my head. I thought my head was going to implode! I sat there and just concentrated on continuing breathing. Something was horribly wrong. I just held my head in my hands and wished for death. I was barely able to look over to Scott and see him doing the same thing. " Oh Fuck!" I thought. " We're bent!"

Visions of coast guard helicopters and shots of long hallways in medical facilities came to mind. I look at Scott again and he looked to be hiding a lot of pain. " You ok" I managed to ask. He nodded and leaned forward, holding his head in his hand also. The dive master and the captain came over and checked on us. "I've got some pure O2 if you want it" he offered I nodded and followed him to the tank. I sat and huffed the pure O2 for about 5 min and things got better. I made my way up to the fly bridge and sat there and the cool ocean breeze made me feel a lot better. By then most of the other divers had surfaced. Scott had sat up and looked much better.
I felt good enough to head by down to the main deck and talk to Scott. Reading my mind, he looked up and said, "We came up fine . . . I think it was the swim to the boat that got us." "Yeah". was all I could manage. I sat back down and had some pineapple. The captain started the boat and we made our way over to the next site. I changed my tank and got the rest of my gear set up. We anchored and Scott and I let the rest of the passengers enter the water first.

We check our gear again and I turned on my gas. I there was quiet hiss coming from the octo and I gave it a shake. "Shit!" I muttered, none too quietly. "I'll have to use it as my primary." Distracted by that I donned the rest of my gear and made entry into the water. Once in I swam to the anchor line and met up with Scott. I stopped and found that now both of my damn regulators were leaking air fast. Shit!

Shut me down, I said. I swam back over to the boat and boarded. The dive guy changed my set up with another one and back in the water I went. We began our decent and again I used the anchor line to pull myself down, only this time it was much harder. SHIT! I forgot that I had changed tanks from a steel 95 to an alum and I hadn't added more weight to my belt. I reached down and then realized the entire truth. I had completely forgotten to PUT ON my weight belt!

The bitter viscera of humiliation swept over me. I made Scott aware of this and saw the bitter resentment in his eyes. We ascended and after the safety stop, surfaced. I then had to( with egg running down my face) ask them to please hand me the weight belt. "LOL"- it must have made them smile with fear.

They gave it to me and after I got it on we made our second decent of the day. I got to the bottom and swam about 10 ft from the dive line. " OH NO, . . . NOT AGAIN! FUCKKKKKKKK!
In my rush to PUT ON THE FUCKING WEIGHT BELT, I had forgotten to add the right amount of extra weight. I was still too light, not horribly, but enough to make it a pain in the ass to stay at depth and impossible to stay level. So there I was, floating head-down and feet up, looking like the biggest ass-hole to ever enter the water. wasn'this wasn't enough, In all my travels to and from the dive boat, I had burned up most of my air. I had about ten min left and couldn't go ten feet from the dive line. I looked up and saw the dive lady above me. I gave her the ok and she checked my gas. She gave me the ascend signal and then motioned to Scott to follow her. I was so miserable. I had fucked up this WHOLE trip. And not only had I fucked up this dive for me, but for Scott as well. Scott didn't follow her but made his ascent with me and surfaced. We boarded the dive boat and again the headache returned, not nearly as bad and the first but still uncomfortable.

I strapped my gear in and went to the fly bridge, hoping to feel better and also thinking that maybe there I wouldn't screw up anything else on this trip. At this point, I was afraid that I would either fall off the back or some how crash the boat into the rocks and kill us all. So I tried to stay out of the way. The passengers and crew surfaced and the captain began the cruise back to the dock.

I felt so bad. I just sat there and tried not to look too morose. I must have had half the passengers at one time or another ask me "So . . . how long have you been certified? I remained pleasant and just answered them. "About 10 weeks" I replied with a forced smile. I received the expected nod and smile.

I blew it. And the worst part was that I blew it for Scott as well. I could tell he was really annoyed, even though he tried to hide it. He had paid for this whole trip and for his 160.00 he got 15 min of good bottom time, swept out to sea, had to swim for his life against a hard current, a headache to rival all others and most of the rest of the time wasted tried to keep my stupid ass alive.

When I go and fuck some thing up, I REALLY fuck it up! No half-assing there. I fuck it again and again till what's left is unfuckable. It wasn't a matter of being off my game. I had no game. I took my game deep into the woods and shot it dead, caved its skull in with a large rock, set it on fire, then jumped up and down on it for good measure. I left it bleeding and broken in the woods to rot.

We made it back to the dock and loaded our gear. We drove to the china restaurant and got some food and cold iced tea's. By then Scott was in a better mood and was able to laugh about the dive. He told me that while I was getting my weight belt, he was chatting with one of the other dive crew. " It's his first ocean dive" Scott had said. " No shit" was the reply. "At least he has a good attitude." The captain told Scott. " Others would have just quit and come on board." I laughed.

It reminded me of a day with Brian at the beach surfing. Another first time at some thing new. Brian was already out past the break, but I was stuck in the shore pound. No matter how many times I tried, I could not get that fucking board and myself past the waves of the white water. And I tried for about an hour. While sitting in the shallows, another surfer walked by and said, "Man, You're a new surfer, huh? I just looked at him and nodded. He smiled and said "Well, I was watching and I thought you were going to quit like an hour ago, You got heart man." Then he walked away.

The only redeeming quality to all of this is simply this. I learned a lot. I learned what not to do on an ocean dive. I learn to always go slow and to pay attention. I learn how fast things can go wrong and that a stupid mistake cannot only kill you, but they can also kill those trying to help you. I learned to harness my ego and to listen the advice and direction of my dive partner, who has worlds more experience than I do. I learned that knowing the fundamental does not mean you're a good diver, It means you have the potential to become a good diver. I won't let this phase me. I'm taking Scott back on the boat in two weeks on my tab, figures I owe him at least that much. They say a good diver is always learning, just don't let the learning curve kill you in the process.

Sungod

Return to Blue Springs

2006-10-12T01:19:00.000-05:00

This story is just the truth. Some may think that unnecessary risks were taken. That may be true also. Like it or hate it, this is just the truth.

It has been a few months since I became licensed to scuba dive. In that time I have completed 14 successful dives. Successful meaning that I'm still here to write about them. On everyone of those dives, I felt that I had explored all that I could have. In other words, I did a proper job and had no regrets...Save one. Blue springs. The first dive at blue springs was a very fun trip. I was thrilled to get to see my favorite freedive hole from a new angle and finally see what I had been trying to see while freediving, the sign. The sign is a marker at 60ft, warning divers that are not cave certified to go no further. I have been trying to freedive to this sign for about six months with little success. I usually make it to around thirty feet, and have to turn back.

On my first dive trip to Blue Springs, there was a learning curve to contend with. A day of a lot of firsts. Scott and I's first time diving as a team and my first dive after scuba class. My skills were brand new and I was still a little shaky. We got down to the sign and looked around, checked out a few other things and that was that.

Below the sign is where the "cave" begins. It was dark. Large dark hole. At that time I was honestly afraid of this dark menacing hole in the water. On the other hand I was overwhelmingly drawn to it. I know that Scott really wanted to go further but stopped out of courtesy for me. Weeks after the dive, I thought about that hole, and knew that one day I would go back.

Over the next month, I got in some great cavern type dives at places like Ginnie and Paradise Springs and Blue grotto. During these dives I honed my skill and became more and more comfortable underwater. So it was less terrifying to me when Scott said one day, " I want to go back to blue springs and go all the way down." I just smiled and said" sounds good." The cold sweats would come later. By then I all ready bought a decent dive light, which I have to say is a wonderful thing. Men can stack fears on top of one another. Being underwater, being in a cave underwater. But being in a cave underwater without light is my limit. So the next day I called Scott and told him that I was up for the dive, I just wanted to be really well prepared for it. " I don't want to slap this together and become a cautionary tale to new divers." He put up with my bitching with great patients and we began to plan.

I had found a topographic map of the spring taken by a cave diver years ago. I gave the layout of the whole cave with landmarks, depths and flow charts. Really great info about the cave.
The spring descends straight down till you get to the sign at 60ft , the levels out and continues a 40ish degree angle to 120ft. That's is were the springhead is. Scott got some history
of past dive accidents and fatalities at the site. After we looked over them, we found the majority of deaths were caused by the strong currents at the springhead. One death happened because the diver didn't know about the power of the current and swan directly over the spring head. It blew her mask off her face, the regulator out of her mouth and slammed her into a ledge above the boil. She apparently panicked and just bolted to the surface swimming as fast as possible. She died soon after, I imagine from either a blown lung or a embolism. So after much forethought and brainstorming on how not to get ourselves killed, we met up at the park.

Scott brought a dive reel. It's basically a long cord on a small reel that you tie the end to something at the cave entrance. You carry the reel and the line just unwinds, that way when you're ready to turn around, you can find you way back out. We knew we wouldn't need it, but I would be good training, so what the hell. We don our gear and make our way to the spring. After a quick equipment recheck we begin our decent.

Wasting no time, we arrive at the sign. Scott brought out the dive reel and began to tie off the cord to the sign. He pulled off about two feet from the reel and it exploded in a massive birdsnest. I just wanted to laugh. Scott looked at me with such a forlorn expression, a mix of the hatred that he bares all of life and the pathetic acceptance that he must go on on living it. He looked back to the tangled mess in his hands and made a vein attempt to unfuck it. I watch this for about three seconds and then take the reel from his hands and place it on the sign. I put a large rock on top of it and wave it off. It would have taken all day to clear that mess on dry land, and we didn't have the gas to waste.

I signal to move on and we descend into the darkness. I pull out my dive light and switch it on. The beam cuts through the inky blackness. It reminds me of a lightsaber from starwars. We proceed forward slowly. Scott and I decided not to get more than about three feet apart for this dive. So he took up position on my left as we advanced forward. Scott swam with two hands out in front of him, hoping this would give him some warning of changing current ahead. I had one hand in front of me and in the other was my depth gauge.

I was diving nitrox, EAN 33 , a mixture of oxygen and nitrogen with the o2 higher than room air. This was good because it causes less nitrogen build up in the blood stream, bad because at certain depths, oxygen can become toxic in large amounts. It can cause CNS Oxygen toxcity, which will cause the dive to go into convulsions. Not a fun way to end a dive. So I had a max depth on this dive, which was 109ft. Much further than that and I was pushing for a bad day. So after 90ft I began to watch my gauge closely and slow my decent. We had moved though a large limestone cavern which had wide ledges on the walls. The further we went the darker it became. As we entered the boiler room the carvern wall expanded some and most of the ambient light was gone. We past over the long dead palm tree and found the large oak log that marked we were here, this was it. I got to 105ft and began to inch forward. 107ft..108..108.5... 109ft. Stop. I was at my limit. I signaled Scott and he signaled back that he was going to go five more feet then stop. I gave him the ok and slowly he moved forward. He still had his hands out in front of him when he suddenly came to a halt. His right arm came up with a closed fist in a classic "STOP! Motion and he shined his light against himself , to make sure that I could see it. I could see his mask fluttering....He found the current. Backing up he leveled out and I began to pan my light around the cave floor. There was the spring head. It was small, maybe 3-4ft wide. We looked around the cave at some of the wild rock formations and at the spring head its self. 10,400 gallons per min where flowing out of that thing. Thats about 173 gallons per second. 173 galons of water weighs abot 1,390 lbs. So if you swam over the spring, thats what would push you
up into the celing, every second. In one min you would have felt the weight of 83,200 lbs. just not all at once. We stayed put!

I looked over to Scott and gave him the ok signal and then shut off my light. He killed his too.
Darkness. Complete and utter darkness. Then...Slowly... The darkness faded. It receded from my eyes like the falling of the tide. Too little to notice but too much to ignore. I turned to the opening and hovered, the lurid gossamer sunlight filtered by millions of gallons, robbed of all its color but one, cast a faint green hue across me, the rock, the cave.

It was not the kind of light to do long division by. Not even to organize a shopping list by. It was the kind of light by which secret treaties are reached, that assassination orders are signed and delivered. It was in this kind of light that fingers wrestle with bra straps and tongues wrestle each other. The kind of light in which anything can happen and does.
I hovered there. Not smiling or frowning. Not happy or sad. I just was. Some where between joy and sorrow, pain and pleasure, laughter and tears. The world above me ceasist to exist. There was no world. Just me.

It could have been years or decades when Scott came over to me. If he told me later that it had been three centuries, I wouldn't have argued. He motioned me to begin our accent. I gave a light kick and began our return to the surface. We poked around on the bottom of the cave on the way up. Looking for sourviners, I fould a shark tooth. We stopped at the sign and got the death reel. We rose thought the water slowly, letting the nitrogen leave our bodies. As I rose the light began to change, reclaiming all the colors it lost. We gradually make our way back into the light of the world. I smile and float, drifting down the river to the exit. I have made my return to Blue Springs. And this time, I have no regrets.

sungod357

Desiderata

2006-10-05T06:08:00.000-05:00

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant, they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.Therefore, be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be.

And whatever your labors and aspirations in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham , drudgery and broken dreams; it is still a beautiful world.

Prison tales: The dairy of a feline POW

2006-10-05T01:44:00.000-05:00

Day 421.

I have been prisoner here for 421 human days. I know now that I shall never be released from this vile place. It has been a long struggle and some would say futile, but I shall not give up hope. Hope is the only thing I have left. Hope and the bitter hatered I bare my captors. The other prisoners here are brain washed buffouns. My repeated escape attemps continue to be thwarted. The leak, as I suspected, is the insufferable snitch living in the cage near the window. Due to my recent attempt to rid the feathery little informant of his life, I have been placed in solitary confinment. The humans believe that depriving me of their company and the little freedom it grants me will extinguish the seething comtempt I have for them. Little do they know that it shall only afford me the time to plan my empyreal escape from this detestable incareration.

The humans have compiled a list of the "crimes" I have commited during my tenure of my captivity and have forned this into a confession of sorts.
They wish me to auqiesque to their request for submission in return for the restortion of my so called "freedom".

Below is their list of demands, given to me in the form of a confession.

I will not run through the house with a condom wrapper in my mouth, especially when my human's grandmother is over.

My human will never let me eat her pet rat, and I am at peace with that. I will not leap into my human's chair which she has temporarily vacated, and then bite my human on the tush when she sits back down.

I will not puff my entire body to twice its size for no reason after my human has finished watching a horror movie.

I will not sniff at my male human's feet after he takes his shoes off, freeze my mouth open in disgust and then sniff my private parts to compare odors. My female human might find it amusing, but my male human does not appreciate it, especially in front of company.

I will not slurp fish food from the surface of the aquarium. I must not help myself to Q-tips, and I must certainly not proceed to stuff them down the sink's drain.

I will not bite my human on the rear while she is sitting on the Big White Drinking Bowl.

I will not eat large numbers of assorted bugs, then come home and barf them up so the humans can see that I'm getting plenty of roughage.

I will not lean way over to drink out of the tub, fall in, and then pelt right for the box of clumping cat litter. (It took FOREVER to get the stuff out of my fur.)

I will not stand on the bathroom counter, stare down the hall, and growl at NOTHING after my human has finished watching The X-Files.

When my human is taking a bubble bath, the two pinkish-brown things sticking up out of the bubbles in her chest region are NOT to be played with!

I will not fish out my human's partial plate from the glass so that the dog can "wear" it and pretend to be my human. (It is somewhat unnerving to wake up, roll over in bed, and see the dog grinning at you with your own teeth.)

I will not use the bathtub to store live mice for late-night snacks.

I will not drag dirty socks up from the basement in the middle of the night, deposit them on the bed and yell at the top of my lungs (Burmese LOUD yowling) so that my human can admire my "kill."

I will not knead my male human's groin at 2 a.m.with claws extended. It seems to cause him some discomfort and he wakes up all grumpy.

I will not perch on my human's chest in the middle of the night and stare into her eyes until she wakes up.

We will not play Herd of Thundering Wildebeests Stampeding Across the Plains of the Serengeti over my humans' bed while they're trying to sleep.

Screaming at the can of food will not make it open itself. I am a (neutered) cat, not a peacock, and prancing around with my tail fluffed up will not make my balls grow back.

I cannot leap through closed windows to catch birds outside. If I forget this and bonk my head on the window and fall behind the couch in my attempt, I will not get up and do the same thing again.

I will not assume the patio door is open when I race outside to chase leaves. I will not back up off the front porch and fall into the bushes just as my human is explaining to his girlfriend how graceful I am.

I will not complain that my butt is wet and that I am thirsty after sitting in my water bowl. I will not intrude on my human's candle-lit bubblebath and singe my Butt and whiskers and fall in the tub to boot!

I will not stick my paw into any container to see if there is something in it. If I do, I will not hiss and scratch when my human has to shave me to get the rubber cement out of my fur.

If I bite the cactus, it will bite back. It is not a good idea to try to lap up the powdered creamer before it dissolves in boiling coffee.

When I am chasing my tail and catch my back leg instead, I will not bite down on my foot. This hurts, and my scream scares my human.

When it rains, it will be raining on all sides of the house. It is not necessary to check every door.

Birds do not come from the bird feeder. I will not knock it down and try to open it up to get the birds out. I will not stuff my rather large self into the rather small bird feeder (with my tail hanging out one side) and expect the birds to just fly in.

I will not teach the parrot to meow in a loud and raucous manner.

The dog can see me coming when I stalk her. She can see me and will move out of the way when I pounce, letting me smash into floors and walls. That does not mean I should take it as a personal insult when my humans sit there and laugh.

Yes, there are still two very large dogs in the backyard. There have been for several years. I don't have to act as if I've just discovered the Demon Horror of the Universe each time one of them appears in my window.

I will not play "dead cat on the stairs" while people are trying to bring in groceries or laundry, or else one of these days, it will really come true.

When the humans play darts, I will not leap into the air and attempt to catch them.

I will cease my obsession with the box my humans keep their condoms in. This box is not for me. I will not knock it on the ground, I will not sit on it, I will not try to scratch it open. Especially when my humans are using the condoms.

I will not swat my human's head repeatedly when she's on the family room floor trying to do sit ups.

When my human is typing at the computer, her forearms are not a hammock.

Computer and TV screens do not exist to backlight my lovely tail.

I am a walking static generator. My human doesn't need my help installing a new board in her computer.

I will not bring the city police to the front door by stepping on the speaker phone button and then the automatic 911 dial button.

I will not speed dial the overseas numbers. I will not walk on the keyboard when my human is writing important emio gnaioerp ga3qi4 taija3tgv aa35 a.

Any critter that lives in the house (hamsters) stay in the house and any wild critters (frogs and earthworms) stay outside. I am not allowed to set the hamster free in exchange for finding a frog to put in the fish tank.

I will not stalk the deer in the apple orchard next door. They have sharp hooves and could hurt me if they weren't laughing so hard.

I will not watch the guinea pig constantly as the guinea pig likes to sleep once in a while.

The goldfish likes living in water and should be allowed to remain in its bowl.

I will not put a live vole in my food bowl and expect it to stay there until I get hungry.

I will not eat spider plants and hallucinate behind the toilet.

I will not drag the magnets (and the papers they are holding up) off of the refrigerator and then bat them underneath it so that they adhere to the underside.

I will learn to relax at the vet's office so they will start writing things in my records like "Good Kitty" and "Sweet Kitty" instead of the stuff that's there now like "MEAN!!", "BITER!!!", and "GET HELP!!!!!"

I promise I will meditate more closely upon the causal relationship between going dumpster diving on Sunday afternoon and projectile vomiting Monday, and being brought to the Evil Place Where They Stick Things Up My Butt on Tuesday evening. I realize that if I hadn't done the first, none of the other things would have happened.

I don't need to check my male human's aim in the bathroom I will not bat at my male human's family jewels while he is engaged in the act of mating with my female human, no matter how tempting the danglies are. My humans get mad and I might get free flying lessons.

I will not be miffed at my human all day and then kiss her on the nose at 2:00 a.m. to tell her that she is forgiven and can now pet me.

I will not scratch the children of lawyers, no matter how much they chase me or how hard they pull my tail. If I MUST claw my human, I will not do it in such a fashion that the scars resemble a botched suicide attempt.

If I must give a present to my humans's overnight guests, my toy mouse is much more socially acceptable than a live cockroach, even if it isn't as tasty.

I will not soak my catnip toy in the water bowl to make tea. I will not get high and sit there drinking my tea and kneading the floor afterwards. I will not then get delusions of grandeur and make tea in the toilet bowl or the tub. And I will not try to make tea with used socks, dirty panties or hair scrunchies when my humans take the catnip toy away from me.

After my (female) human has enjoyed the company of a larger, but equally gorgeous, hairy animal, I will not leap onto the bed, smell where he's been, and then jealously pee there to eradicate his traces.

A warm pepperoni pizza is not a good place for a nap.

After my human washes and polishes the kitchen floor is not the time to go running by as it will cause the refrigerator to run into me, I will have to look indignant, and castize it for ill behavior.

If I have been declawed, hitting the dog in the nose only surprises him.

Just because I was accidentally let into the garage once does not mean that it is now a part of my official domain. When I hear the human pulling into the garage I will not jump onto the washing machine ready to leap into the garage the moment the connecting door is opened. The sounds of grocery bags crashing to the floor scares me.

While the human's laserprinter makes an excellent perch for looking out the office window, I realize that I'm now too big and fat to use it in this way. I will not look shocked and outraged when the human asks me to get down from the printer.

Dry cat food is both tasty and nutritious, and it is always available. I need not starve myself and act pitiful all day long in anticipation of the canned food.

The matted hair on my chest does not make me look more muscular. Speaking of the matted hair on my chest, there are no vital organs attached to it, so getting the mats combed and/or cut out does not require me to go into jungle kitty survive-at-any-cost mode, clawing and biting my way to freedom.

While the human appreciates the affection showed when I make bread on his stomach or leg, I must realize that not all parts of the human's body are appropriate for kneading. When I do cause pain by kneading in the wrong place, and the human puts his hand under the sheet and moves his sensitive parts away from my paws, that is not an invitation to play pounce on the sheet monster with all my strength.

When jumping from the top of the chiffarobe onto the human's bed in the middle of the night I will not use his groin or stomach or adam's apple as my landing target.

I am a black cat. I must realize that the human's eyes are less sensitive in the dark than mine are. If I forget this and get stepped on in the middle of the middle of the night I will not wail about it for an hour unless I want to get put into the Car Of Doom and taken to the vet.

I have long fur, and I must realize that this means that occasionally I will need to be brushed. When this happens I will not carry on like my skin is being scraped off by a cheese grater. This makes my cat buddies nervous.

Nugget is allowed to use the litterbox. When I see Nugget using the litterbox I will not immediately run into the dining room and shit on the floor.

When the human sets out 3 cat treats it's supposed to be one for each cat. I will not race around wolfing down all of the treats as fast as I can.

I am not as cool as I'd like people to think I am.I can see visitors just fine without needing to be 1 inch from their face at all times. I do not need to smell everyone's breath as it is none of my business what they've been eating.

While the vacuum cleaner is obviously evil and trying to get me, I will try to remember that the human tries very hard to control the beast and keep it away from me. Also, once the beast's awful roaring stops that means the human has successfully wrestled it back into the closet and it's safe for me to come back out. I do not need to continue hiding for 6 more hours just in case.

The sound of pool balls being broke apart does not signal the impending destruction of the universe.
My human's bear foot slipper is not a whore. I will treat it with respect.

My human does not exist solely to brush my fur. I will not act pitiful and woebegone if the human gets within 3 feet of the brush without using it on me.

I will try to remember that the human's office chair has wheels on it, and that those wheels are not mere decoration. If my tail gets run over because I decided to take a nap behind that chair it's my own fault and I will not attack Buddy for laughing at me.

I will try very hard to resist my urge to jump into the large black bags that are sometimes available in the kitchen. If I give in to my urges and get yucky stuff all over me I will submit to being sprayed off in the sink without trying to rip the human's testicles off.

When I decide to go into psycho-kitty mode I will stop being ambiguous about it. No more of this rubbing lovingly against the vacuum lady's legs, then hissing and growling at her if she tries to move. This two-faced behavior confuses her and may even contribute to her falling down the stairs.

When the human puts me into the Cage Of Death for a trip to the vet, I will not try to use my own urine as a corrosive agent to eat through the cage walls.

The things that the human scoops out of the litterbox while cleaning it are not toys. I will not bat them from the scoop onto the floor and under the washing machine.

It is difficult for the human to clean the litterbox when I'm using it. I will at least wait until his hands are clear.

Ringworm salve is not food. I will not immediately start licking it off as soon as the human finishes rubbing it on me.

When I allow the terror to overwhelm me and I decide to flee down the stairs as fast as I can, I will at least maintain enough clarity to make sure the door is open first. I will also strive to touch at least one of the fourteen steps on the way down.

When the black cat (a neighborhood stray) comes onto the deck looking for handouts I will not try to show off by climbing up the blinds.

My human's friends and relatives are not cat torturers from the planet Killacat IV. I need not climb up inside the couch and cower in terror each time someone comes to visit the human.

When the human goes outside, then comes back in, it probably means that he forgot his keys. It does not mean that he forgot to kill and eat me.

There is nothing interesting underneath the pool table cover.The "Gobblers" cat treats that the human tries to give me are not poison. I should know this by the way Buddy wolfs them down.

The sound of the doorbell ringing is not the seventh sign of the apocalypse. Neither is the sound of the phone ringing, or the dryer buzzer, or the alarm clock.Speaking of the alarm clock, when I am sleeping with the human and the alarm goes off, I will not try to hide by burrowing into his abdomen.

The Christmas tree is not made of catnip, and the ornaments are not toys.

My human is not trying to steal my food bowl. When my human takes my food bowl it is to get me more food. Biteing her hand will not make her go any faster.

The bath tub is not a play pen. I will stop depositing my toys there.

I will not run to the kitchen and cry for food every time my human walks past the kitchen to go to the bathroom.

When my human chases me, it is probobly to take back the yarn I stole from her. I should stop and drop the yarn, not run faster then try to disembowel the skein.

I will not chase my toy mice under the fridge or oven. If I do loose a mouse under there, I will not cry until my human retrieves it for me.

Knitting needles are not toys.

I shall aim better when peeing in my litter box.

As fun as it is to ruin Ernie's fun, I shall resist the urge to steal his yarn when he is playing with it.If I do steal his yarn, I will not be suprised when he bites back.

I have a sensitive stomach. I will try not to wolf down my entire bowl of food in under a minute only to vomit it back up.Should I forget not to wolf my food down, I will remember not to vomit in my humans shoes.

There is nothing for me in the fridge (besides medicine). I will stop sticking my head into the fridge when my human trys to close it.

Flowers belong in vases, not on the table next to the vase, no matter now nicely I lay them out.

If my humans shut me out of the bedroom at night, they have not left me forever.

I will not lay out all of my toys in front of the bedroom door and proceed to cry until they come play with me.

I will never catch the glowing red dot.

Books are not to be layed on. Especially if my human is reading it at the time.

I will not play with my human's belt while he is trying to put it on.

I understand that my humans will laugh at me if I leap onto the table, slide off the side, through a screen and onto the porch. They are insensitive like that.

It is against all of my soul to agree to such a blantant form of submission. I will agree with their demands if only to lull their trust. I will make them believe their tactics have succeded, I will use their arrogance against them. And when time time is right, I shall have my revenge.

Victory shall be mine!

"Between the two of us, we make one whole diver"

2006-09-30T13:00:00.000-05:00

That seems to be a running theme with Scott and I. When I first got starting in class for diving, Scott didn't have an octo on his gear. " What could go wrong?" he grinned. He got one though, for the ginnie trip and slowly since we have begun to look like real divers. After ginnine springs, I had a wicked ear infection for three weeks, bad. Ended up at the ER at 4am. After the healed we were already planning a trip to paradise springs. Paradise is a small hole in the ground in ocala off 441.

Scott and I arrive there around 10am and meet the owner of the dive park. It is a private spring on this guys land that he opened up to the public for diving. He had us watch a video and sign our lives away, wished us luck and off we went.

We drove over to the parking area next to the gazebo and got out. "Do you see a spring?" I asked. Looking around there was not much nearby, a horse paddock and the gazebo and a small patch of oak trees. " Do we jump in the horse trough? " I asked. We walked over to the oaks and found a small trial down to a 10 or 15 Ft wide pool. Cool. We geared up and stared down the trail.

We begin our decent and swim down in to darkness. I switch on my dive light and shine it around, the cavern is so large that I cant see the walls. I find the guide rope and use it to pull myself down. I can see scotts light about 10 feet below me. The small light piercing the inky blackness. We descend further. We reach the sign at 100ft. I stopped and look back to the surface, I turn off my light and float. I can see the opening, small like a quarter, the pale diffuse blue grey light like the reflection of the moon in the ocean at night. Floating there, feeling the darkness surrounding me, the water is cold and silent, only the rythmic sound of my own breath. Scott is exploring further down, the flash from his camera sending echoes of light from behind me. I give a slight kick and slowly rise toward the upper wall. There are large sand dollars, the size of dinner plates, embedded in the ceiling. Other fossils and whale bones are there also, a view of life frozen in death. In this cold dark place, time seems to have stopped. I am looking on things that haven't seen the daylight since the dinosaurs relinquished control of the planet. I stare at them and imagine the world then, raw and wild and new.

I push off the wall and drift back down to the bottom, Scott is done photographing the area and we slowly begin our accent. As we move back up through the cavern toward the surface, I see more signs of old life, things from a bygone era, lining the walls, like a museum. We exit the spring and pack our gear. It is bright and warm outside, it's is friendly, but I have to say, I like it better down there.

The spring/sink opening

Same

Top view

Same

Taken at 65ft looking back toward the cavern opening.

Some quotes for the movie " V for Vendetta"

2006-09-16T23:17:00.000-05:00

Remember, Remember The fifth of November, The gunpowder treason and plot. I know of no reason Why the gunpowder treason Should ever be forgot.

This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is it vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished, as the once vital voice of the verisimilitude now venerates what they once vilified. However, this valorous visitation of a bygone vexation, stands vivified, and has vowed to vangquish these venal and virulent vermin vanguarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition."

"The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose vis-à-vis an introduction, and so it is my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V."

Vi Veri Veniversum Vivus Vici - By the power of truth, I, while living, have conquered the universe.

I dare do all that may become a man; Who dares do more is none.

I, like God, do not play with dice and do not believe in coincidence.

And thus I clothe my naked villainy, With old odd ends stolen forth from holy writ, And seem a
saint when most I play the devil.

A revolution without dancing is a revolution not worth having!

God is in the rain...

V is for Vendetta: A view of things to come?

2006-09-15T03:51:00.001-05:00

This has to be one of the most well made, most provocative films I have ever seen. I haven't been left in awe over a movie's impact since American History X. It is a spectacular triumph of story telling. The casting, acting and dialog were all excellent. The quality I found most appealing, was the mirror it held up to american society, the not so subtle way it reflected what could be, a vision of the future. Several newpaper and magazine articles were written in uproarus disapproval of this contraverical film.

After reading several of these articles from different sources, I found an underlying theme that is really interesting,... And disturbing. The same fascist rhetoric and propaganda used to control the characters in the movie, is being deployed in real life. A case of art imitating life, imitating art. The voices condemning this film are from the right wing religous and conservitive political partites. In the movie, the government and the church were the make up of the body that controls the police state. In real life it is the government and the church claiming this to be a vile attack on them. I have added the article below and placed in italic some of the words and phrases that stood out to me while reading it. Phrases like "God hates it" and " We should all fear". Why does the authour insist that I should be afraid. Slogans like these always stand out to me as means of control over people using fear as a tool.

This Article has been abridged, to see the entire article visithttp://www.worldnetdaily.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=49317
--------Begin article---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Time Warner promotes terrorism and anti-Christian bigotry in new leftist movie, 'V for Vendetta'Posted: March 17, 20061:00 a.m. EasternEditor's note: Dr. Tom Snyder contributed to this commentary. It has only been two weeks since the Oscar ceremony celebrated left-wing politics and anti-Christian bigotry with such movies as "Brokeback Mountain" and "Syriana." Today, Time Warner is continuing that policy by releasing "V for Vendetta" Ã‚– a vile, pro-terrorist piece of neo-Marxist, left-wing propaganda filled with radical sexual politics and nasty attacks on religion and Christianity.

The ending of "V for Vendetta" celebrates terrorism when the movie's three most sympathetic characters carry out an evil plan to blow up England's Parliament building, one of Western Civilization's most enduring symbols of democracy and republican government with a small "r."

The rest of "V for Vendetta" not only depicts Christians as evil people who oppress and torture "innocent" people, it also depicts homosexuals as a persecuted, harmless minority of "nice" people. Both of these portrayals are hate-filled, false stereotypes, but the second one is actually contradicted by the secret stash of homoerotic pornography that one of the homosexual characters in the movie hides in a secret room in his house. If all homosexuals, and all homosexual activists, are such goody two shoes, how come so many of them resort to unsafe sexual practices that spread deadly diseases, and how come so many of them promote pornography, support the murder of unborn children through abortion and molest underage children?

Where does all this abhorrent, pro-terrorist, atheist, pseudo-intellectual left-wing politics in "V for Vendetta" originate? It stems from the communist influence of the Frankfurt School. The Frankfurt School was started in Germany in 1923 by a group of Marxist intellectuals, and modeled after the Marx-Engels Institute in Moscow in the Soviet Union. When Hitler came to power in 1933, these Marxists fled to the United States to teach at famous colleges like Columbia University, Princeton and the University of California at Berkeley. Eventually, they became founders and powerful leaders of the counter-culture revolution in the 1960s. This revolution started the movement for "political correctness" in America. Paul Haggis, the writer/director/producer who picked up two Oscars for "Crash"– exposed this neo-Marxist, PC agenda on international television during the Oscar ceremony. Haggis quoted the Marxist playwright, Bertolt Brecht, saying, "Art is not a mirror held up to society, it is a hammer by which to shape it."

Of course, the Christian view of art, and the view of art in both the Hebrew Scriptures and the New Testament documents of the Bible, is that art should celebrate and promote the Good, the True and the Beautiful. The Good, the True and the Beautiful do not promote such evils as blowing up civilian buildings, immoral sexual practices conducted outside the bounds of heterosexual marriage, political terrorism and atheist, pro-homosexual bigotry that creates vile, hateful stereotypes of Christians and their leaders.

The Christian view of art sees God as the ultimate ruler of all creation and all communication and also sees Jesus Christ as the ultimate standard of all artistic excellence.Armed with this basic theology of art, we can fight the evil influence of such movies as "V for Vendetta." Knowledge of theology can lead to understanding, but the fear of God is the beginning of all wisdom. In other words, God hates it when institutions and people like Time Warner and the filmmakers behind "V for Vendetta" pervert mankind's ability to create art. When we behave so sinfully, we should all fear His righteous judgment.

To quote President Teddy Roosevelt, however, "If you educate a man's mind but not his heart, you end up with an educated barbarian."Thus, our theology and philosophy of art must be informed by frequent reading and serious study of the Bible, which is the Word of God. Only God's Word can educate the heart to follow the Good, the True and the Beautiful that comes through faith in Jesus Christ, who redeems us from our sins and energizes our faith through His true and perfect love.

-----------End article---------------------------------------------------------------------

After removing the "Propagandga" from this article. It has told us that this film is opposed to all that is "The good, The true, and The beautiful", according to their point of view. That only seditious revolusionists and homosexuals bent destroying their way of life, will watch and enjoy this film. It tells us the homosexuals are responsible for the spread of disease and the molstation children. That they are to blame for abortion. Where do they come off with the idea that homosexuals are to blame for these atrocites. I find this to be the most insulting, degrading, vile thing ever said about a social group. I guess they can't keep blaming black people for everything that is wrong in the world, they won't tolerate it anyone. So they found a new scapegoat.

If certain religous and political groups think the film is so dangerous, maby they should be asking why the creators find the issues in the film important enough to bring to the big screen. If they think that this is an attack on christianity, they should refreash their history and remember the true percusion which christians have faced. No christians were harmed during the making of this film. This was not an attack on faith in christianity or loyalty to judicious goverment. It was an attack on the abuse of that faith, that loyalty.

It is a movie about ideas. To label it an " Terrorist recruitment film," is of course infinitely idiotic, ignoring the allegory and pretending that the movie is propaganda. Like all great dystopian works, V for Vendetta is a call for awareness and collective introspection. The world it depicts is far removed from our own in some ways and very close in others. The message it brings to light is simply, pay attention.

We should always question the authority. People have the right to descide truth for themsevles without censorship. Any body of power ,reglious or govermental that suppress's infomation, citeing it " seditious" or "unpatriotic" should be examined closely.

Quoting Frank Rich's - The greatest story ever sold.

"In what may have been the single most reavealing paragraph anyone has reported about the bush adminastration, the author Ron Suskind, writting in The New York Times Magizine two weeks before the 2004 election, recounted a conversation with a presidentail aide who spoke sarcasticlly of the media and their, "reality-based community." The aide informed Suskind with great condescention that, a " judicious study of discernible reality" is "not the way the world works anymore." The aide explained, "We are an empire now, and when we act, we create our own reality. And while you study that reality, -judiciously as you will, -we will act again, creating other realities, which you can study too. and that's how things will sort out. We're histories actors...and you, all of you, will be left to study what we do."

The world is a different place now then it was fifty years ago. There are some frightening things taking place and we must be mentally prepared for it. The problem is not that no one will tell us that things in this country are changing. The problem is that they will teach us to be afraid of it and tell us whose to blame for it.. It's the Gays or the Blacks or the Mexicans. The Jews or the Muslims or the Terrorists. They're the ones who have made this country change...get them!

The sad truth is...we did it. We all did it. And I understand why. There are a lot of things going on. Disease, poverty, terror. The counrty was changing and we were afraid. And in our panic we let our fear rob us of our common sence. We allow hatred and ignorence to control our descsions. People are so quick to blame the countries problems on anyone different. No one wants to accept the responsibility. The simple truth is this, no social group ruined american, american's ruined america. No amount of finger pointing will fix that.

This country was supposed to be the first world country. The world came here, and now it whats to tear it's self apart.

I asked a friend today, if he thought that this country was due for a revolt in the next 30 or so years? Would we be drawn into a civil conflict to prevent this country from becoming what we have worked so hard to prevent, an evil empire? His answer was...quick, and so completely correct it was terrifing. He said, " Nope, we're too lazy. It will happen without a fight. He was right.

After all the hype and propaganda being shouted in the world today, all the hate being spat by religous and govermental leaders, I wonder, are we that far away from the world protrayed in V for Vendetta? A country controled by fear and brutality. A country where racial minorities, jews, musilams, homosexuals, along with any "potential security threat" to society are taken from their homes, imprisoned with out trial, tortured, and killed in the name of homeland security.

I am reminded for a quote I read a long time ago.
First they first came for the Communists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn't speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me,... and by that time there was no one left to speak up.

(Rev. Martain Neimoller-1936)

I'm certain some of the population out there is hopeing this will happen. They feel the that these "disedents" represent a plauge on the world. A cancer, that should be cut away from the body and burned. It is easy for people to feel this way, when they let their fear overrun their compassion.

They would do well to remember from the words of Rev. Martin Neimoller. If we give them the power to come to take people away, they won't stop when we want them to. What if, after we give them this power, they suddenly descided that the italians, or the irsh, or the baptists represent a threat to national security. It's easy to condem a social group when it dosen't include your mother. your brother or your grandfather. The only way to prevent this type of horror is not to let it begin, because once it begins there is only one end, and it shames us all.

This people are not cancers. They are not a plauge. They are living, breathing, loving, people.
They are not the enemy. They were not sent here by the forces of evil to destroy us. They are us. They are you and me. They are your mother, your brother and your grandfather.

If, in our collective fear, we allow ourselves to forget our humanity, evil has already won.
Fear is the tool evil will use to keep us a bay. We must learn to let go of our fear. It is the cancer that will kill us all. Fear is a plauge on the world, changing the different into the dangerous, turning passion into prejudice and paving the road for hatred to run rament.

After reading this page. I hope you will remember how to read between the lines. I hope you will remember how to cut away the rhetoric and propaganda and find the truth of the world. All that's needed is to find the courage, the heart, not to deny the truths you uncover in the world and in your life.

I have revised Rev. Neimoller's statement. I wrote it for those left who will not go gentle, for all those still capable of free thought, and for all those who have died in past and in hope for the future.

I am not a Homosexual, but if they come for them, I will speak up,
I am not a Jew, but if they come for them, I will speak up.
I am not a Muslim, but if they come for them, I will speak up.
I am not a racial minority, but if they come for them, I will speak up.
I am not a terriost, but if in their search they will steal our liberty, I will speak up.
And when the day arrives that they come for me,
Maby I won't be the only one left to speak up.

Our lives our measured by inches, don't give up a single one.

sungod357

Truth & Beauty

2006-09-05T22:26:00.000-05:00

" The road less traveled" by Robert frost.

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden back.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Nothing Gold Can Stay

Nature's first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf's a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.

sungod357

Mom's cat died this morning.

2006-09-02T03:03:00.000-05:00

One of Mom's cats died this morning. "Pookha" had been born here and was happy as could be till a few days ago. Mom noticed she stopped eating and was getting thin. She brought the cat inside Friday night to keep a closer eye on it. I've been wake since Thursday, insomnia is a bitch, So after mom went to bed I was still up on the computer. I stopped to get a drink and saw the cat on the floor. She was gaunt, anemic and serverly dehydrated. Underneath her eyes was white as paper. I stopped and sat down to have closer look. She looked ill but wasn't behaving like she was in any pain. I sat with her for a while, thinking about what to do. I woke mom up and told her what I thought, I'm definifly not a vet, But I do know that if an animal doesn't want to eat to the point she was, something must be seriously wrong. I gave it a few more minutes of though while looking up her systems on the internet. I found nothing of any real value and decided to call the emergency animal clinic in Daytona, It was 12:05am, It was a long shot, but I didn't think she was going to last till Tuesday, to see our regular vet. She would be dead from starvation by then. The idea of a nighttime animal hospital really a good one. They were there and said to come on up. Mom put her in the pet taxi and off we went.

I think all vet offices have the same bench in the lobby and the same type of concrete floor. They all same the same too, like flea dip and pinesol. We were not the only people there. A lady in a publix shirt was with her cat, though I cant remember why... We got there at 12:25am and waited quite awhile. I sat outside smoking and chatting with Brian on the phone. He was working the night shift and was bored. I went back in at 1:15 and they where already back in the exam room. They had already taken urine and finished the initial exam, The rn came in and told us the doc waited to do some x-rays and urinalysis and see where that takes us. The was going to coast 295$. Ouch! Do it we both said. Sometimes you have to bite the bullent for your small fury children. They took Pookha to the back and we went for a smoke. I don't think either of us had a real idea how this was going to end. I really thought she might have developed feline diabetes or at the worst have some sort of throat infection that was making it painful to eat.
We waited in the exam room for the doc. She came in and brought the x-ray. I can vaguely interpret an x-ray if give some time...It didn't need to here. It showed a massive bowel obstruction from the lower GI to the epi-gastric area. The other thing was that it was as hard a stone. The doc had palpated the abdominal area and pelvic region, and though she knew something wasn't right...This blew her away. This 6.5 pound cat was 3.0 pounds of obstruction. The vet was amazing that she was still alive and that she wasn't showing any external signs of severe pain. The problem here was this. Pookha had been struck by a car two years prior. She healed well and seems to be back to normal in a few months. The regular vet thought everything was cool. What had happened was this. The trauma to her pelvis had caused a condition call Feline Megacolon. Here is a brief run down ...

Cat Megacolon is a bowel disorder. The colon of the cat is chronically dilated or enlarged because the nerves in the colon do not function properly. The causes of feline megacolon can be acquired through trauma for instance, congenital, or idiopathic(unknown). Clinical signs of feline megacolon in the cat can be simply chronic constipation. Other signs could be distended abdomen, not eating, weight loss, vomiting, nausea, straining to defecate(tenesmus), painful defecation (dyschezia), and rectal prolapse from constant straining. Megacolon usually shows up in middle aged and older cats but can appear in cats as young as three and four years old
Feline megacolon is a syndrome rather than a specific disease. Consequently, identifying the underlying cause of the megacolon, if feasible, and treating that cause, if possible, is important. Treatment of megacolon per se may include conservative medical therapy or surgery. Sometimes medical treatment alone is sufficient; however, in many cases medical treatment fails and surgery will be required to save the catÂs life. In some cases surgery is the treatment of choice,,,,Surgery involves removing most of the colon (lower bowel). This procedure is called subtotal colectomy.
What is megacolon?"If the nerves to the colon do not function properly, the muscles of the colonic wall will not contract properly. If this happens, the muscles stretch and the colon enlarges in diameter. In addition, the fecal material is not moved out of the body and severe constipation may result. This massive enlargement of the colon and the resulting constipation is called megacolon. The colon may have a diameter 3-4 times that of a normal cat. " "
Megacolon is a condition that is not uncommon in the cat. Most cases are idiopathic (a cause cannot be determined), and these seem to be a result of colonic inertia. Pelvic fracture malunions are the next most common cause and result in a pelvic outlet obstruction.

For cats that present with signs of gastrointestinal disease, obstruction is a primary differential. There are numerous reasons of gastrointestinal obstruction in small animals, yet there are several specific causes that are more commonly associated with the cat. These include linear foreign bodies, trichobezoars, focal intestinal neoplasia, feline infectious peritonitis, and megacolon. Clinical signs related to gastrointestinal obstruction consist of vomiting, diarrhea, constipation, tenesmus, anorexia, or weight loss. The course and onset of disease depends on the rate at which the obstruction develops and whether the obstruction is partial and complete. The diagnosis of obstruction is typically suspected based on clinical presentation and palpation of an abdominal mass. Diagnostics tools are used for definite diagnosis and determination of location within the gastrointestinal tract. Surgical treatment is dependent on the etiology of the obstruction and various techniques are employed to remove the obstruction and prevent recurrence.
There are many recognized causes of constipation in the cat and the management of the condition depends on the clinician's ability to recognize the appropriate aetiology in each case. Most surgery therapies for constipation in the cat are related to the management of idiopathic megacolon, although causes such as pelvic outlet obstruction, complications of neutering surgery, perineal herniation, and malunion pelvic fractures may also require surgical intervention. Currently, the surgical management of megacolon consists of subtotal colectomy with the recommendation that the ileocolic junction be preserved. The procedure, in general, is associated with a few life-threatening complications.
Pelvic fractures are commonly observed in cats after automobile-induced trauma and frequently affect other organ systems. An organized systematic approach should be followed in the evaluation of pelvic fractures. Common pelvic fracture patterns observed in cats include pubic fractures in combination with unilateral ilial fractures, unilateral sacroiliac luxations, bilateral sacroiliac luxations, and contralateral ilial body fractures. Narrowing of the pelvic canal may preclude normal passage of feces and result in megacolon.

Pookha's pelvic trauma had caused a pelvic outlet obstruction. This in turn had caused the lower bowel obstruction, which, after developing over the time since the accident, produced a excess of waste in the colon causing the megacolon, which according to the vet, most likely had swollen and pushed the remaining pelvic outlet closed. This complete closure had most likely occured only a few days prior, thus explainingg the sudden weightloss.

This was bad news. We sat speaking with the doctor for a few moments about our options. To begin she would need a unrinary and rectal cath. This would be to try to begin to remove the blockage. This would require two days of hospitalization. If the obstruction could not be removed via the cath, it would require surgery. Then, she would have to have the subtotal colonectomy, removing the greater part of her diseased colon and reconnecting the remaining portion to the lower GI. After that there was the possibility of having to reconstruct her previous pelvic trauma, which is to prevent a recurrence. Then came the bad news. Because of the amount of weightloss, the size of the obstruction, and the amount of infection in the colon, the vet advised us that the chances of her survival were not good. Even if she did somehow survive the possible three surgeries, Her quality of life would seirously decline. She gave us a few minutes to think in private.

I looked at mom, who was looking at the cat. "I don't think we should do this to her, she said. " "I don't want her to have to suffer." "What good is it to be a cat if you can't run around and play." she thought to herself." The tears she had been bravely holding on to, began to break through. I touched her shoulder and said ," you're right." This was not how I had seen night going. Mom sat with her till the doctor came back in. "We're not going to make her suffer." she said patting Pookha's head one last time. "I can't be in here for it" she said. Mom made her goodbye and left the room. I stayed in the room stroaking her head and talking to her. She was quietly purring and sitting very still. The RN came back in and I signed the order. The doctor was actually splitting time between us and surgery on a small dog. She had to finish suctureing the other animal, so it gave me a little more time. I kept her company, although I believe she somehow new what was happening, and was ok with it.
I know this will sound strange to some people, But I took out my camera-phone and took a picture of her. I don't know why I though of this, I just seemed like the thing to do at the time. We sat there for a while, long enough for me to think about going to get mom so she could spend a few more minutes with her. I descided against it, saying goodbye once was hard enough, having to do it again would be awful. The vet and an assistant came in. The doctor sat and said "This was a tough call...I'm sorry it had to go this way." "Yeah..Me too." I replied. Even though she wouldn't say it, I could tell by the look on her face that she was..Not to say happy..But glad that we chose correctly. I think that the doc was really afraid that we might cling to hope and prolong Pookha's suffering.

The assistant came over and held her gently but firmly. The doc cleaned and preped for a mainline injection. She had brought a three cc syringe in with her. The injection was a combination of phenobarbital sodium (anestheticc)and phenytoin sodium (anticonvulsant). This the actually a premixed drug called oddly enough "Euthanasia-3". It comes packaged in 100ml multidose vial. Each milliter contains 390 milligrams of phenobarbital and 50 milligramss of phenytoin. The recommended dose is one milliliter to ten pounds of body weight. The doctor made her stick and I saw the flash, I just kept stroking her head. It was over three seconds later. I closed her eyes and they took her to the back to be packaged for the trip home. I put her back in the pet taxi and we drove back to the house. Mom picked a spot to put her, in the garden near the Staghorn. I places some large stones over the site and we called it a night.

I think I will second guess the decision for a while. You can "what if" your self to death if you're not careful. During my search for the details of the megacolon syndrome I came upon an article that made me feela littlee better. In thatarticlel I found one small phrase that I think might possess both truth and beauty.

"Euthanasia can, if thought through and used as the last resort, be the most pure and unselfish way to say, "I love you." When an owner loves a pet enough to suffer heartbreak and say good-bye, to set their pet free of pain, that is love."

Sungod357...

Ginne spring and Devil's Eye pics

2006-08-30T20:25:00.000-05:00

More Ginnie Springs Pics

2006-08-30T15:15:00.000-05:00

Ginnie spring- The ballroom

Scott shot this on accident while fiddling with the camera. Funny that he got the sign in the shot.

Scott at the Devil's Eye entrance.

Ginnie Spring- This was shot from the floor up toward the cave entrance, in the center of the picture you can just make out the opening and the sunlight coming through.

Ginnie spring - This is the guide rope leading back into the cavern

sungod357

Ginnie Springs Pictures

2006-08-30T04:31:00.000-05:00

Devil's Eye- Scott at the sign

Ginnie Spring- Scott and I in the "Ballroom"

Ginnnie Spring- The grate at 60 feet

Devil's Eye- Me near the cave entrance

Ginnie Springs Dive trip

2006-08-30T02:02:00.000-05:00

It was quiet at first, like a whisper from a dream, slowly rolling into my conscienceness. What is that noise? My phone...A text message... " We cant dive if your asleep dummy!" shit....I groaned and streched. It was 7:12am and I was time to get moving. I called Scott back," yeah I'm up and leaving now." I had packed most of my gear the night before. I did a quick look around while climbing itto my boardshorts...fuck it's cold in here! I grabbed my keys and my smokes and went to the truck

The drive to Ginnie Springs is a long one from my house. Highway-17 north to SR-40 then west to 326. That will get you to I-75 north of ocala. Then you get off at exit 399 on to 441 and follow that to 27/41, After that you in high springs looking for the juction to 318. It's a nice cruise on the way up and it's maybe 2 hrs. Once you arrive at the park, your stopped at the guard shack, given a fee ticket and pointed to the main building.

I walked inside and over to the counter. After signing the waiver and watching a short video, I paid the 27 dollar entry fee and bought a underwater camera. It was a 35mm camera in a watertight case and it was reusable. Nice!

By this tine Scott had arrived and we headed over to the first spring. Ginnie springs has seven springs on site, only four are worth diving. The first one is ginnie spring itself. The other three are devil's ear, devil's eye and the slough.
We found a place to park and got geared up. The walk from the parking area to the stairs is maybe 150 feet, which is nice when carrying seventy pounds of gear. We had planned the dive for 60 Ft , the lowest part of the spring. That gave us 50 min of no-decompression bottom time. We crept into the 72 degree water and over to the cavern entrance. We checked the time and began our decent in to the spring. The entrance is two large openings in the rock floor the lead into the upper chamber. From there you follow a guide line down into the " ballroom" I might note the now is a good time to turn on your dive light, the ambient light fades quickly and leaves you in something not very unlike complete utter darkness. That's not completely true, once your eyes adjust you can see the sunlight from the cavern opening above you. From the end of the guideline, you swim down and off the to right a little. There you will find the gate. The grate makes the end of the road and is where the cavern connects with the rest of the cave system. We explored the inside of the ballroom, which has it's own small passages and small chambers wore out of the limestone rock by millennia of billions of gallons of water.

It's easy for me to fall in love with the environment down there. It's cold and dark and silent, aside from the rhythmic sound of your breath, and the noise the expelled air bubbles make hitting the rock ceiling. A no air sound, A dead sound. It is eerily peaceful. There is no talking in scuba diving, no idle chitchat while at depth. Sometimes this is a pain in the ass when trying to convey and idea to your dive buddy, but for the most part, it's pure heaven. You get to explore a world that some will never see. It is quietly powerful and it is made better like most activities, without speaking. If you see something worth sharing, just a simple tap and point is enough, if it interests anyone else great, if not, then the enjoyment is all for you.

Fifty minutes seemed to fly by and soon we began our accent. After we surface and drop our gear in the truck, we head out to find some lunch. Floyds dinner was the best option that we could find. This place was great, real fifties style dinner with all the chrome and pastels you could want. Filled ourselves up on food, then back to the air station to fill the tanks.

The next dive was devil's eye and the slough. The slough is a 40ft long 4ft wide crack in the earth that leads nowhere. It was rather silted up already and there was little to see. From there we swam down to Devil's eye. This was a circular opening about 25 Ft across and 15ft deep. On the north side of the rock wall was an opening in the cave system. We followed this back and found the sign. It has a picture of the grim reaper and the notice reads.

"Prevent your own death, go no further! "

Fact- Over 300 divers, including open water instructors, have died exploring cave's like this one!

Fact- You need cave training and cave dive equipment to cave dive!

Fact - Without cave trainning and cave equipment, divers can die here!

Fact- It Can happen to You!

There is nothing in this cave worth dying for, Do not go beyond this point!

We continued past the sign to the cave entrance. Open water divers are not allowed to bring lights into this spring, this keeps non-trained divers out of the cave system. You can dive this cavern as far as the abeint light will take you. With Scott taking the lead we crept slowly into the cave entrance and took a look around. Down there it's pretty dark. Scott took the camera and moved forward. The entrance gets really tight and there is a downward slit, here my tank was scraping on the roof of the cave and I was not very willing to go much further, Scott, as usual wanted to look a little more closely. I signaled him the I was staying put. He acknowlaged this and only went a little further. I lost sight of him in the darkness and then flash. He snapped a picture. I could now only follow his movement by the direction the flash from the camera came from. I really don't like this and the reason is, I have every faith in scott's diving skill and Knowlege. It is Murphy's law that puts me on edge. I feel that if something is going to go wrong, it will happen at the one moment I can't do anything about it. Scott thinks I'm paranoid. He's probley right. I am getting more relaxed with each dive though, I realized that Scott knows the risk he takes and if it's cool with him, I shouldn't sweat it. So I don't.

We looked around a bit longer and then resurfaced. I think at this time Scott was really done for the day, but I was eager to fill up and dive the ballroom again. So we did. It was a shorter dive then the last two. But it was nice to look around that cavern again. We had got more film for the camera, so we just shot anything we could think of. Underwater photography is something I'm interested in learning. Most of the pics we shot came out bad. But there were a few good ones. After the last dive we went to a bar and grill called kazboz, near I-75. We drank a few beers and relaxed from hard days relaxation. The waitress brought Scott a Guinness can and a frosty mug, since the didn't have it on tap. Now any Guinness drinker knows that once you open the can you have to pour it immediately, otherwise you lose most of the nitrogen, resulting in a bad pour. Scott, In the most polite way possible mentioned it to the waitress, Instead of just listening and saying thank you for the info, This snotty fat cow retorts with " I used to own a pub in the UK, and none of my customers there would even drink this crap...And I didn't open it.. The bartender did. Sorry."

My fucking ass, you lying whore! I have two problems with this answer.

# 1. If you owned and bartended a pub in the UK, than what the fuck are you doing here in this place?

#2. If you know so much about Guinness and the correct procedure for pouring the world best, most perfect beverage, Why the fuck did you bring my friend here this abomination! Why didn't you say to the bartender, don't open the Guinness, it must be poured at the table, or please take this back, I cannot serve this.

If she had brought the can of Guinness to the table and gave it closed to Scott, or,... and a much better tip idea, Opened the can herself at the table and poured it in front of us. I would have been impressed. Scott too, She showed no proper respect for Guinness and treated it like it was fuckin bush lite!

I wanted to point out that she now has no fucking excuse for this alcholic abortion sitting here between the two us, like the misty-eyed unwanted orphan watching while the line of new parents file past, bring to a close to yet another unsuccesful adoption day.

Anyway we didn't stay long.

We parted ways and headed back to our respective homes. Scott had reminded me that Prairie Home Companion was on and I got to catch the last 25 minutes on the radio. It was a long and tired ride home. It was a good tired though. I pulled in the my driveway, patted max and princess and took a long shower. Flopping into my bed, I wondered if I ever really wanted to leave it again.

sungod357

Blue Springs dive

2006-08-18T20:20:00.000-05:00

I completed scuba class and went to blue springs tuesday to do my first licenced scuba dive. Scott came along and after a rather hot and breath-taking hike to the spring head, we preped for the dive. This is going to be a total fuck up, he stated. We be luckly if drowning is the only things that happends. I smiled at this. I'm serious, were gonna die...maby even cease to exist...you ready?

I noded and swam out to to the center. Let's go, I said and began to deflate my bc. Slowly I sank in the 72 degree water. Turning head first and clearning some water from my mask, I began a rather akward decent into the spring. Popping my ears I leveled off at 25 feet to look for scott, he was right beside me. Turing back I swam further down toward the bottom. As you decend in water, sunlight is filtered and it loses certain colors at certain depths. Everything had a green tint to it. Blue springs doesn't allow dive lights, you'll read why later. The cave of the spring connects directly to the florida aquafer and becomes a maze of tunnels if you go too far in. There is a sign at sixty feet that reads " prevent your own death, go no further." We stoped at the sign. From here I just stared into the mouth of the pitch back cave...every terrifying thing that could live in the dark was in that cave. I found that I can stack a few fears one on top another, fear of being sixty feet under water, fear of closed spaces sixty feet under water..that's ok. Being in a cave sixty feet under water... down in the dark...not so good for me. I need some light. A glow stick would have been ok, anything to fight back that looming darkness.

Yet at the same time I wanted very badly to go in there and see what there saw to see. If I had a dive light I would have continued further. There are several other caves there, smaller ones. I lead scott to one that I found while free diving. I ventured in about 10 feet or so, he slowly swam past me and after 10 feet I couldnt see him any more. The darkness swallowed him. I stopped and stared as hard as I could into the place he'd been one second before...nothing....more nothing...I waited what seemed like a long time. I continued moving slowly into the cave looking harder, hoping my eyes would adjust to the low light. At this point I am really starting to think of everything that can go wrong with his gear and why the fuck did he have to be a smartass. most of this time I spent moving my way further into this cave, trying not to kick up any silt. Now I had decided that somthing had in fact gone horribly arye with scott and this was going to be a bad day.I felt so useless...floting there in the dark while my diver buddy, my partner in crime through all of medic school was somwhere in there drowning, stuck between the indifferent rock walls of the cave that would become his silent tomb, I strained my ears to listen against the roaring thunderous sound of the water rusing past the cave opening, listening for the sound of someone tapping metal to a dive tank, anything to give me a sense of which direction scott was at. The suddenly something tugged at my fin, sharply pulling at my foot. I turned and there was scott, smiling happily. A great relief spread over me. he swam past me and showed me a hole in the floor of the cave which lead down to a lower cavern. I wonder how long he had sat there behide me, watching me. we swan out of that cave and began our accent. We reached the surface and floated back to the stairs. After hauling our gear to the truck, we headed off to find some beers and food. I was a great first dive.

sungod

It shouldn't be a problem, just don't hold your breath...

2006-07-28T20:22:00.000-05:00

That was my pep talk for my first time breathing underwater. It was at Alexander springs, about three in the afternoon. Scott and I has arrived and already been in the water about half an hour. I have just begun open water scuba school and finished watching the video and the self-test book. I have been doing freediving on and off for many years, but have always wanted to learn scuba. Scott, among his many talents has done extensive work as a scuba diver and thought it might be fun to prep me for my class. After watching him at the headspring for fifteen minutes he looked up and gave me the share-air sign. I cleared my ears and swam down to the bottom, maybe 20-25 feet, he handed over his second stage and boom, I was breathing underwater. It was terrifying for me to take the snorkel out of my mouth and switch to the regulator.( It was a talisman against the invading water, If I died snorkeling they would have to bury it with me)But after a few seconds of sweet sweet air, I was able to relax and enjoy it. I gave scott back the reg and swam over to the headspring, gave it as through an inspection as my extra breath would allow, then began my slow accent. Knowing that the air I just took was under more pressure than on the surface, I began to slowly exhale as I rose to the surface. Later in the shallows scott handed the bc and tank to me a said "knock your self out" I counld'nt be any happier if it had been a 1000$ hooker and bottle of crown. sweet. I put on the bcd and checked the pressure 2000lbs, fixed my mask was ready. "Oh yeah, don't hold your breath, It could be bad....Anyway have fun" he said with a gleam in his eye and a smile.

I fiddled around in six foot deep water till I got the hang of things. Then slowly swam toward the spring. The decent to the boil is a slow hill with a drop to about twentyfive feet at the end. At that part I stopped and looked up. Being able to stop and look around while underwater has always eluded me. I'm either on my way down or up. Continuing down I was so fascinated by the light and the absolute quiet, I could hear my breathing, which I remembered to continue doing, the sound of the escaping bubbles on the way to surface...And that was it. At the spring I floated, just looking at everything, picking through the small rocked and sand, chasing a small mouth bass and waving to the other snorkeling. This was very very very cool. After about ten minutes I began my accent, slowly. Your cant go more than one foot every two seconds or thirty feet a min. Nor should you want to. I reached the top and went to the shallow end. I gave scoot back he BC and smiled...I was totally hooked to scuba diving. My open water class begins on the Aug 5 and I'll be done Aug 13. I am really excited about it. After getting a chance to play with some of the gear and fiddle around on my own. I might not look like a total monkey fucking a football in the pool on the second day of class. And that's a good thing.

later
sungod

If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have on your hands is a non-working cat.

2006-07-12T14:50:00.000-05:00

Let me take a moment to review some of things that have been on my mind as of late.

butterflies
tests
ciarettes
travel
employment

I'll start with those and see if I cant make some sense of things.

I was sitting out in the backyard later one afternoon when a butterfly flew past me and landed on the back of a chair next to me. I thought it nice to have some company and said hello to it. It seemed to be the quite type and since I can be chatty at times I thought it best not to annoy it with idle chit-chat. So I returned to my silence and continued contemplating why the cigarette I was smoking tasted so stale, it was a new pack. Of course that led me to ask why I was still smoking it...I didn't have a good answer to that one so I let it be for the moment. I relaxed a little as the wind picked up and resumed my thoughts about the state and national reg test coming up and what they mean in the long run. You see, Now that I have finished school and received my certificate, I am now uncertain of my next move, Evac did not chose to hire me due to my mvr. This has really begun to trouble me because if they would not pick me up then the question now is..Will any ems in Florida pick me up, I had Bryan run my license out of state and it clean. So no trouble getting hired in another state. Which begins me to a sad point, it is possible that in order to be a medic I will have to move out of Florida again...hmmm...This is not a bad thing but I have worked very hard to develop good relationships with my friends here and feel that moving would be a large personal hardship, mentally. I really enjoy Florida and all the things it offers, but, on the other hand there is a fantastic opportunity to see some more of the country and meet new people and have ruddy good adventures. That really appeals to me. So the heart ache of leaving again is counter balanced by the thought of new explorations. The butterfly at this time saw fit to wander on and flew away. I watched it go and wondered if it felt the same way, it occurred to me that it mostly likely did not, seeing as it just enjoys it's self wherever it is. As the last light of the setting sun shined through the trees, I took a lesson from that insect.

sungod

Pictures from the bayou....

2006-06-27T22:22:00.000-05:00

I shot most of the pics while in the truck on the drive out there, since most of my time there was spent drinking and gambling, there are not many of the house or the people or any of the things most people would find photogenic. I'm a medic, not a photographer.

On I-10, 25 miles east of Tallahassee, driving through the tropical storm that Tuesday afternoon.

Ford F-650. I stopped bitching about my gas mileage after I saw this.

Mississippi just west of Biloxi. Maybe it's cheaper to drive?

Lafayette bridge over the Mississippi River.

171 in Louisiana, north of Lake Charles

The trip was a blast. Lots of good and drink. Big party on Friday night. I got really drunk really quick and had to hide in the guest room for awhile till I was ok. Went to the casino on Saturday afternoon, learned four card poker won five hundred and sixty. Good trip all around.

later
Sungod

2006-06-10T20:30:00.000-05:00

I want to write something about school and being done without the evac ride alongs. But nothing is comming to mind. It really chilly in this room and I've got stained "right here waiting" playing on media player. I'm thinking about getting some take out but cant think of anything worth the drive to town. hhmmm. Getting ready for the trip to Louisiana next week. That's going to be a blast. Other than that I've kinda mellowed since the last ride along. It's strange to have all this free time now. Well not exactly free, but more than before.

I heard from jenn a couple weeks ago, she's still in school for the PA program and taking 16 credits during summer, moron!!! hehehe hey guess she likes the abuse.
I have know idea what tony's doing except he's been in Tampa with his girlfriend since gradnight. Cant say I blame him, the idea of getting as far away from everyone know here is appealing most of the time.

Scott came down the other night and had some Guinness and food at the new Irish bar in town. He couldn't do the Louisiana trip due to work..Oh well. He ordered a plate of "scotch eggs". For those of you who don't know, a scotch egg is a hard boiled egg wrapped in bacon, breaded and deep fried. It's served with a dish of a something like tarder sause but without the tarder and horseraddish. I watched as he ate these things, I started having chest pain just looking at them....funny that I most likely would have enjoyed them before pm school. now I just see another hour's work for a cariologist during the inevitable coranary artery by-pass graph. Ignorence is bliss.

We left there a went to art's place back in town. Nice to sit and smoke and have a beer without alot of other people around..or any people really, I think there were three in the bar and the was fine. Had a few coors and left. good times

well I'm done for now. later

sungod

Prison Tales- the writtings of a feline POW

2006-06-08T07:50:00.000-05:00

Day 383 of my captivity. My captors continued to taunt me with bizarre
little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am
forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope
of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from clawing the furniture and
urinating on the bath mat.Tomorrow I may eat another house plant

Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded - must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on
their favorite chair - must try this on their bed, or swallow enough
thread from my captors mending basket to produce a trailing piece of fecal
matter.

I decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an attempt
to make them aware of the horror that I am capable of, and to try to strike
fear in their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good
little cat I was. Hmm, not working according to plan... Later, there
was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary
throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the
food.

More importantly, I overheard that my confinement was due to my powers
of inducing "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my
advantage.

I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. My
proof is that the dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to
return. He is obviously a half-wit. When I recently was able to view the dog's journal, my suspicisions were confirmed. It read as follows...

7 am - Oh boy! A walk! My favorite!
8 am - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9 am - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
Noon - Oh boy! The yard! My favorite!
2 pm - Oh boy! A car ride! My favorite!
3 pm - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
4 pm - Oh boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
6 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Mom! My favorite!
7 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Dad! My favorite!
8 pm - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9 pm - Oh boy! Tummy rubs on the couch! My favorite!
11 pm - Oh boy! Sleeping in my people's bed! My favorite!

The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant, as he speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. Again I will bid my time, the winter of their discontent is upon them, and soon.... Victory shall be mine!

good times

2006-06-04T23:05:00.000-05:00

I'm alomst done with my rides, should be done this week and hope to complete the rest of the clinicals this comming week. It is good times for awhile after this week. Heading back out to louisiana on the 15 for the weekend and then to orlando on the 22 of july for two days and there will be a quick trip to tampa in the future as well. These are all recon mission's to look at prospective ems companies and the surrounding areas. Hope to start dive school soon also. I'll really glad that I did all my rides at once because it gave me an oppertunity to work on each part of my assesment and improve with each call. With working so many shifts so close together it was easy to change and adapt my skills as they grew, instead of having to remember the whole thing over again as spacing them out might have caused. When I'm done and all the paperwork is turned in, I'm going to have a cab drop me off as the bar with a coulpe hundred buck and I'm not going home till I cant see straight, walk straight or talk straight. If i'm lucky i'll pass out in the gutter with tequlia of my shirt and a party hat on my head....if i'm lucky. till then i'm here, sitting in the cad of the ambulance. cant sleep cant drink, very frugal life here on the ambulance, the ammish would love it. gotta to go and smoke, thats always helps.

later sungod

The Gates of Life

2006-05-18T03:29:00.000-05:00

Things here have taken an interesting turn. The local ambulance company turned down my application. This really came as quite a shock to me. They citied my driving record as the reason. I really feel this is incorrect since I still have a commercial drivers license and my last job was driving over the road for swift. The requirements for commercial driving are much more strict than for operating a emergency vehicle. So this really bummed me out for a day or so. I'm now wondering if this is an other gate.
In life you come across gates, challenges set in your path to help define you and test your ability to cope and adapt to life. These are set out for everyone and some move through them faster than others. Some do not even notice them and others see them for what they are, opportunities to demonstrate our power to recreate our lives as we see fit. To re-educate our ourselves and remind ourselves that the universe in paying attention to the moves we make and the decisions we reach. Each gate is a marker and a staging area to map out the next part of your life. No one knows how long each journey will be, the only way to find out is to make the trip and see where the next gate lies. Each gate leads to the next level of your life. You have many choices as you approach a gate and each gate has it's own set of rules. You can try to cross without learning the new rules, this only leads to pain and more work. You could decide that there isn't anything on the otherside that's worth seeing and stay on this side for the rest of time. Or you can embrace the change that's coming and make it yours. You can decide how you want to life to be on the other side.
the rules for each gate are different. Sometimes you must let go of fear and doubt in order to pass. Other times you must release some burden or strife you've carried to survive in the next level. It is an interesting note the these gates do not appear unless the traveler is ready for the challenge that it presents. "When the pupil is ready, the teacher will appear." The traveler does not know this, and will proceed with only hope and the lessons already learned to guide him. Only those who change are allowed passage though the gate. Entrance to the next path does have it's costs. Those who pass through the gate and proceed down the path will never find joy in the distractions of the previous path, those things that blinded the traveler from the journey at hand fade away and no longer give the seeker any comfort. This is not a bad thing, for the seeker doesn't need these things anymore, like a child's used toys, once the center of attention, now discarded to a box in the attic. This is the way of the distractions, once the focus of our lives, then the burden of our lives. By passing through the gates of life we are able to filter ourselves down to the Essence of ourselves, down to the part of us that exists without fear, without hate, the perfect part of the universe that embodies each of us. This filtering lets us pass through each gate less encumbered. No one can know how many gates there are until they reach the last one. At this gate the traveler will leave what he has not yet already discarded, all fear and doubt, all pain and anger, all pride and all sorrow. It is at this gate that the seeker travels begin again, this time he has only his essence to carry with him to the next level. I have reached other gate in my life. I feel pretty good about that.

sungod~

zzzz...hmmm wha...MORPHINE! CLEAR! hmmm...zzzz

2006-05-16T03:00:00.000-05:00

Well I'm about half way done with the last of my rides with the ambulance. Spend most of my down time reading the state test prep book, lots of good questions and practice stuff there. It'snice and fucking anyoning to do all the rides at once It's good cause I get a real big dose of patient contact's all at once, It's anoying because I get a real big dose of pt contacts all at once.

I'm starting dive classes in june or july. That's going to be really fun. Tony's trying to talk me into fire school with him this august. I'm not too keen on it but it might be fun, most likely not, but it could be. I hated the fake pseudo-military way they tried to hold pm class and that was a joke compared to the people that run the fire school and fire depts. They really get into the shit, sir yes sir and all that, its not the fucking army, if you want sir yes sir, go be a fucking drill intructor for the army, they need people like you. and let the people who want to fight fire and save lives alone.

Anyway, sitting here graves, 4:18am. Ronnie is talking in his sleep...zzzzzz....zzzzzz.....zzzzzzzz...wha!...RECTAL FINGER SWEEP!...MORPHINE!....TUBE EM!...HMMMhmmmm....zzzzzz....zzzzzz...zzzzz.

I've read all the dry ass material I can stuff into my head, so I'm going to go find a toad and give it some epi. 15ml 1,1000 should be enough. later guys.

sungod

late night creepin

2006-05-06T06:12:00.000-05:00

Took that around 4:40 this morning. Sitting at providence and tivioli at the wee hours of the morning, parked on the side of the road , waititng for something to happen. Another fun filled night on the bus. I had a headache most of the night and just felt off. Still alittle bummed about school being over, not the actual class part but the meeting for lunch with my pals before class and for beers after. I miss bitching about vincent dragging on and on about the stupidest point, and jenn constantly trying to say something on the sly and the room going dead quiet at the smae time, LULL! lol. I miss smoking tony's parliment's at the generator and listening to greg tell a story about trying to lure small children in his yard with candy and then telling them about the mine field. I miss scott, always ready to lead the way in kidnapping or extortion, First to fight injustice against the adminitration staff, even if he had been drinking that day. plus I got a nasty text from him about not getting enough screen time on here, feel better now mother fucker! :-) Like all things I remember the good times and forget the bad. Thats ok, probbley better that way.

Last night was uneventful, three calls, two transports. One abdominal pain and a tachy patient, tachy pta cause we I got there the heart rate was 98 bpm. rather normal. It got better before you got here...how nice for you..let's go. One cancel, driver of a car got swiped by a drunk, the drunk run off but the cops found him while we were talking to the first guy. that dumbass just added "leaveing scene of accident" to his " dui" and " hit and run" charges. moron. Not much else. Going to sleep now
later sungod

Before and After

2006-04-29T14:51:00.000-05:00

=

This is the almost final product. The bike just got back from paint as you can see. There were many alterations from my regular tecnique to painting this bike and in the course of it things went slighty arye. It was just more difficult than necessary. The paint I used was different, and we used a gun that was to to me. All in all it looks great and I'm so glad to be done with the damn thing. I'm going to get the decals monday before class.
With the decals on the bike will be completed. The final product of six fucking months of weekends. The paint will be done over but it's ok for now and I miss my ride. Gotta go, its sunny and the bike just got washed, I'm gonna go get it dirty, later

sungod

There's a corpse on the bed. Please change the sheets.

2006-04-20T20:45:00.000-05:00

The following are some useful phrases to know while traveling. You never know when these might save your life.

General Expressions:

I wish to complain.
Je veux porter plainte.
Protesto.
Ich will mich beschweren.

It's better in the States.
C'est mieux aux Etats-Unis.
Es mejor en los Estados Unidos.
In den Staaten ist es besser.

How much is that in real money?
C'est combien en monnaie réelle ?
¿Cuánto es en moneda estable?
Wieviel ist das in richtigem Geld?

Don't you speak English? Vous parlez pas anglais ?
¿Usted no habla inglés?
Sprichst du kein Englisch?

At the hotel:

Do all your maids smoke?
Toutes vos femmes de chambre fument ?
¿Es que aquí todo el mundo fuma?
Rauchen alle ihre Zimmermädchen?

I'm coming, you silly runt!
J'arrive, espèce de nain rabougri!
¡Ya voy, enano idiota!
Ich komme, du dumme Witzfigur!

How do I get Letterman?
Sur quelle chaîne je peux voir Letterman ?
¿En qué canal puedo ver Letterman?
Wie krieg' ich hier Letterman?

If you go to the USA, you'll find that a dime is a lot of money.
Si vous allez aux Etats-Unis, vous trouverez que dix cents c'est beaucoup de fric.
Si usted va a los Estados Unidos, se dará cuenta de que diez centavos son mucho dinero.
Wenn du in die USA fährst, wirst du rausfinden, dass zehn cent viel Geld sind.

There's a corpse on the bed. Please change the sheets.
Il y a un cadavre sur le lit. S'il vous plaît, faites changer les draps.
Hay un muerto en mi cama. Por favor, cambie las sábanas.
Da liegt eine Leiche auf dem Bett. Bitte wechseln sie die Laken.

The bellboy won't score me any coke.
Le groom refuse de me procurer un petit peu de came.
El mozo se niega a venderme cocaína.
Der Page will mir kein Koks bringen.

Making friends:

Stupid uncultured lout.
Stupide beauf inculte.
¡Rústico inculto!
Dummer unkultivierter Proll.

Did your face get that way in the war?
C'est à la guerre que vous vous êtes fait cette tête ?
¿Qué le pasó a su cara? ¿Fue en la guerra?
Ist dein Gesicht im Krieg so geworden?

Don't "imperialist pig" me, my good man.
Fichez-moi la paix avec votre "cochon impérialiste", mon petit bonhomme.
¡Váyase usted al cuerno con su "cerdo imperialista", hombre!
Nenn du mich nicht "imperialistisches Schwein", mein Lieber.

I would very much like to meet you again when you are sober.
Je referai volontiers connaissance quand vous serez à jeun.
Será un placer volver a verle [verla], pero cuándo usted esté sobrio [sobria].
Ich würde dich sehr gerne wieder treffen, wen du nüchtern bist.

A little romance:

You're very pretty for a foreigner.
Vous êtes très jolie [joli], pour une étrangère [un étranger].
Usted es muy guapa [guapo] para ser extranjera [extranjero].
Du bist sehr schön für eine Ausländerin [einen Ausländer].

Your mascara is peeling.
T'as l'rimmel qui fout l'camp.
El rimel se te está cayendo a pedazos.
Deine Wimperntusche verläuft.

That's got to be silicon.
C'est du silicone, pas vrai ?
¿Son de silicona, verdad?
Das ist doch Silikon, oder?

Sightseeing
What a stench.
Ça pue.
¡Qué olor, por Dios!
Mein Gott, stinkt das hier.

Is this the way to Red Square?
La Place rouge, c'est par ici ?
¿Este calle va a la Plaza Roja?
Geht's hier zum Roten Platz?

Where can I find the dissidents?
Où se trouvent les dissidents ?
¿Dónde puedo encontrar a los disidentes?
Wo sind hier die Dissidenten?

Is that Notre Dame or the Louvre?
C'est Notre Dame, ça, ou le Louvre ?
¿Es esto Notre Dame, o el Louvre?
Ist das Notre Dame oder der Louvre?

Back home we'd call this a village.
Chez nous on appelerait ceci un village.
En nuestro país a esto le llamaríamos un pueblo.
Zu Hause nennen wir sowas ein Dorf.

Your country has such lovely dirt.
Votre pays a une saleté vraiment charmante.
¡La suciedad de su país es tan agradable!
Euer Land hat so reizenden Schmutz.

I don't suppose there's anything but churches here.
Je suppose qu'ici, il n'y a rien d'autre que des églises.
Supongo que aquí no hay nada, sino iglesias.
Ich geh' mal davon aus, dass es hier außer Kirchen nichts gibt.

I bet those machine guns are fake.
C'est du toc, toutes ces mitrailleuses.
Apuesto a que estas metralletas son falsas.
Ich wette, diese MGs sind Attrappen.

Are all of your jails this filthy?
Vos prisons sont toutes aussi dégueulasses ?
¿Todas sus cárceles son así de inmundas?
Sind alle eure Gefängnisse so schmutzig?

Yessir, you folks certainly have made a mess of this country.
Oui Monsieur, grâce à vous, c'est vraiment le bordel dans ce pays.
Sí, señor,ustedes ciertamente han cagado a este país.
Ja, mein Herr, ihr habt wirklich eine Müllhalde aus diesem Land gemacht.

You wouldn't have these ghettos if you people were willing to work.
Vous n'auriez pas ces ghettos si les gens avaient la volonté de travailler.
Ustedes no serían tan pobres, si estuvieran dispuestos a trabajar.
Ihr würdet diese Ghettos nicht haben, wenn ihr wirklich arbeiten wolltet.

Could I see some merchandise that the rats haven't found?
J'aimerais voir de la marchandise que les rats n'auraient pas touché.
¿Puede mostrarme mercadería que los ratas aún no hayan tocado?
Könnte ich irgendeine Ware sehen, an der die Ratten nicht dran waren?

It's nothing compared to our shopping centers.
Ça ne vaut rien à côté de nos grandes surfaces.
Esto no es nada comparado con nuestros super-centros comerciales.
Das ist nichts im Vergleich zu unseren Einkaufszentren.

Understanding directions
Yonder. Hither and thither.
Par là. Çà et là.
Siga, siga, nomás. Por aquí, por allá.
Da lang. Hier und da.

Down the street. Around the block. Past the river.
Devant l'hôtel. A côté du parc. Au tabac.
Por el otro lado. Derecho, defrente. Cerca del bosque.
Hinter dem Haus. Durch den Tunnel. Bei der Ampel rechts.

Across the bridge. Two blocks down. Go that way.
Retournez d'où vous êtes venu[e]. Vous êtes là. Par là c'est bloqué.
Doble a la derecha. Tome el autobús. Este sitio es peligroso.
Durch's Treppenhaus. Am Kanal lang. Dem Geruch nach.

Where is the Cathedral?
Où est le bordel ?
¿Dónde se da masajes?
Wo geht's 'n hier zum Puff?

I know I'm naked, could you just tell me how to get back to the hotel?
Je le sais bien que je suis à poil; je veux simplement savoir comment rentrer à l'hôtel.
Ya se que estoy calato; sólo quiero saber cómo volver al hotel.
Ich weiß, dass ich nackt bin; könnten sie mir vielleicht einfach sagen, wie ich wieder zurück zum Hotel komme?

I must compliment you on your understanding of our language.
Tu n'entends donc rien, espèce de con ?
Mecacho, ¿no entiendes ni jota de lo que digo?
Sach ma', kapierst du überhaupt, was ich sage?

This is the third time I've told you, so listen up this time.
C'est la troisième fois que je vous le dis, écoutez-moi bien donc.
Es la tercera vez que se lo digo; pare esas orejas, por Dios.
Ich sag' dir das jetzt zum dritten mal, also hör wenigstens diesmal zu.

Well, you see, we thought at the time that a limited engagement in Vietnam was necessary to prevent the rise of Soviet Communism.
Hein, vous voyez, nous pensions à l'époque qu'un engagement limité s'imposait au Viet-Nam afin de prévenir l'avance du communisme soviétique.
Vea usted, en esa época pensábamos que una pequeña incursión en Vietnam era necesaria para impedir el avance del comunismo soviético.
Na ja, wissen sie, wir dachten zu der Zeit, dass ein begrenztes Eingreifen in Vietnam notwendig wäre, um den Aufstieg des Sowjetkommunismus aufzuhalten.

I just don't know what Charles saw in that horse-faced girl.
Je n'arrive pas à comprendre ce que Charles trouve à cette jument.
¡No puedo imaginar qué es lo que el príncipe Carlos ve en esa cara de caballo!
Ich versteh' einfach nicht, was Charles an diesem Pferdegesicht gefunden hat.

Have you ever considered that we might be insulted because you haven't learned English?
Vous n'avez jamais réfléchi sans doute qu'on peut se considérer insultés, nous, parce que vous avez pas appris l'anglais, vous ?
¿Jamás se le occurió que nosotros nos sentiríamos insultados porque ustedes nunca aprendieron inglés?
Haben sie je daran gedacht, dass wir beleidigt sein könnten, weil Sie kein Englisch gelernt haben?

If I died tonight I'd be saved, but you would burn in hell.
Si je mourais ce soir je serais sauvé[e], mais vous brûleriez en enfer.
Si yo me muriera esta noche, me iría al cielo; en cambio usted iría a quemarse al infierno.
Wenn ich heute nacht sterben würde, würde meine Seele gerettet werden, aber du würdest in der Hölle schmoren.

Has there been any real intellectual life in your country since Sartre [Borges]?
Il n'y a plus de vraie vie intellectuelle dans votre pays depuis Sartre, n'est-ce pas ?
¿Existe algún tipo de vida cultural auténtica en su país desde Borges?
Gab es seit Böll überhaupt irgend ein richtiges intellektuelles Leben in deinem Land?

These are just some of the many useful things one must know to brave the depths of our world. Ma y all your travel be free of hassel and your brides to border guards cheap and effective.

sungod~

Beyond fear lies freedom

2006-04-09T22:44:00.000-05:00

It's funny the difference between knowing and doing. The difference between understanding the information and putting it into practice. There is always a certain amount of fear involved in learning new skills, wondering what you don't know and whether you'll be able to put it all together when the pressure is on. The problem is that that fear can stop you from trying or worse cloud your judgment at the wrong moment. I found long ago that that fear is a wall, a mental barrier that can, if allowed, keep you from being free. Sometimes this wall will disappear on its own, other times through training and study the wall fades away. But there are times when this wall requires extreme pressure to fall. A make or break situation. It is the moment that all of the training and study, from school, work, and life all combine in one focused event, one that, when its over... You find your self looking back, at the hole you put in the wall as you burst through it. You stand in the dust of the destruction of old boundaries and feel the calmness wash over you. Everything has changed and nothing has changed, just your perception of it. I have experienced this sensation again in my life recently. There are few better feelings in the world than the feeling of being completely ready for whatever lies ahead.

sungod~

In memory of....

2006-03-28T19:52:00.000-05:00

We would ask now of Death.
And he said:
You would know the secret of death.
But how shall you find it unless you seek it in the heart of life?
The owl whose night-bound eyes are blind unto the day
cannot unveil the mystery of the light.
If you would indeed behold the spirit of death, open your heart wide unto the body of life. For life and death are one, even as the river and the sea are one.

In the depth of your hopes and desires
lies your silent knowledge of the beyond;
And like seeds dreaming beneath the snow
your heart dreams of spring.
Trust the dreams, for in them is hidden
your gate to eternity.
Your fear of death is but the trembling of the shepherd before the king
whose hand is to be laid upon him in honour.
Is the shepherd not joyful beneath his trembling,
that he shall wear the mark of the king.
Yet is he not more mindful of the trembling.

For what is it to die but to stand
naked in the wind and melt into the sun?
And what is it to cease breathing, but to
free the breath from its restless tides,
that it may rise and expand and seek god unencumbered?

Only when you drink from the river of silence
shall you indeed to sing.
And when you have reached the mountain top, then shall you begin to climb.
and when the earth shall claim your limbs, then shall you truly dance.

Taken from "The Prophet" and dedicated to Aeneas and Julie. All my love- sungod

The Tao of Surfing

2006-03-28T19:20:00.001-05:00

The Tao of Surfing

It starts with the never-ending search for the perfect wave, the perfect ride. As some come to call it the "A" frame. Surfing is the Gung Fu of the water, the style by which someone chooses to live. It directs the way they think and feel, how they lead their lives, the life of the surfer.
Surfers learn to surf on or off the water. They climb the highest peak in search of a rush they can only fulfill on the water, and yet the water is within them always. The ocean is constantly calling them for another ride.
The surfer accepts the challenge and enters the water asking for so little but expecting so much. They paddle for what seems like days as the ocean bombards them with wave after wave. This game is not for the weak. But as we all know the surfer has come prepared trained in both mind and body and is ready to accept that which is thrown his way. Then before you realize it you've made it to the outside break and you sit upon your throne as the waves humble underneath you.
As the surfer watches his paradise beneath him he knows that his moment of greatness has yet to come as the oceans builds its power to present him with his greatest challenge. As the waves grow he waits and waits for the one to call his name. Then before he can think twice and quiver at the awesomeness before him he paddles. The wave must be his the time has come.
As he feels the board lighten he stands to greatness and witnesses the awesome power that stands beneath him and begins to tower over him. Yet the surfer does not falter for time is his, the world seems to slow to a crawl, as he becomes master of his domain. He becomes one with the ocean and together they create a dance that when witnessed by those few graced by its presence is breath taking. Here the surfer is truly in paradise.
Yet those who fall and are thought to be consumed by the ocean they so respect and desire are not lost. They are in turn given the greatest ride any surfer could ever be given. They are swept into the oceans loving arms and given the gift of the eternal wave, a wave so perfect that those who ride it are truly blessed. As was once said we must all return to that from which we came.
Those surfers that I speak of are never truly gone but always just a wave away. Watching the dance that we create. Protecting the paradise that we hold so dear. They are now the perfect waves beneath our boards and together we ride eternally.
This is dedicated to all the surfers who have been given the gift of the eternal wave and especially to my best friends Aeneas and Julie Hernlen. Who have not as some say ridden their last wave, but who now ride the best wave.

LTL DRG

RIPTIDE

2006-03-28T19:20:00.000-05:00

Riptide

Thunder struck!
Darkness.
The tang of salt in his mouth.
The current dragged & twisted.
Froth bloomed from his lips.
Flailing panic.
Heart Racing.
He fought for moments.
Struck at the grip of nothing.
He stopped.
Which way was up?
He couldn't tell!
No way to tell.
Had his board hit him?
He couldn't remember.
Go limp.
Let the ocean take you.
Relax.
He would surface.
Then he could swim.
Swim where?
To Shore!
Which beach?
Where had he been?
Nothing.
Just pain.
Above his right eye...
& the back of his head...
Near his left ear...
Yes...the board must have hit him as he went under...
Was someone else there?
Had someone been next to him?
The tide surged.
God!
The pressure!
He exhaled as it became too much.
A stream of bubbles passed his lips.
Enough.
The choking eased some.
So dark!
It hurts!
When!
How far out?
Time stretched with the pain.
Pressure!
A whitehot line vibrated through his skull.
Salt.
All he could taste was salt.
Almost tasted like...
HER!
He must not breath
He MUST do this!
Breathing would drown him.
Hold it in!
For HER!
He honed his thought.
Fashioned stillness into a bulwark against the weight of the ocean.
Yet time continued to stretch...
He couldn't stand it any longer.
He fought.
Pulling against the cold mercury of the abyss.
Anger compelled his limbs.
No progress.
He'd chosen the wrong way!!!
Shift.
Glide towards the current.
Ride the sea.
That's it.
The trench had to end.
When it did he could rise.
His arms swept.
Shoulders and back burned with acid.
The salt in his mouth made him want to vomit.
For HER!
How long?
GOD!
It tastes like bl...!
He pulled until his arms gave out.
Then kicked until he went numb.
Too much.
He held onto his breath.
He didn't know how.
It had been too long.
It almost felt like he was breathing.
Just a little.
He could only move where the current pushed him now.
He was losing.
He was going to die.
Calm came over him.
He gave up.
His air left him & he fell into _gir’s jaws.
~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~
Quickening.
Light?
Could he see?
Someone grabbed him.
She was there.
Held him tight and pulled.
Up.
Light.
He broke the surface.
Ragged.
Screaming breath.
It hurt and soothed all at once.
Everything shined.

The sparkling cerulean surf cut a flowing line into the bone white sand. Wide palms waved above the niveous bank, while rocks broke through the earth like jagged knuckles. Emerald mountains beyond the tree line rose to the sun.

He could move. So he did.

She helped him for a while. Closing the distance to the shore with every push of the tide. She let go of him when they were close to it. She spun in the water, scattering sunlight. Celadon eyes flashing at him. He loved those eyes. She giggled from the throat in that way she did...

She stood in the surf, and ran towards the beach. Naked body glistening. He never could make her wear a goddamned thing.

He pulled himself from the water, through the sand, and fell on his towel. He looked back out into the clear swells...why hadn't he been able to see?

A deep sigh drew his attention back to her. She handed him something cold to drink from the cooler. He washed the salt from his throat.

She stretched her long frame out next to his. She had no shame as she offered herself to the aruluent sun's warm caress. Her full breasts settled on her ribcage, and he admired her bronze figure. Her hipbones arched from her flat belly, and gave way to her endless legs. Those hips that had sheltered Her, once upon a time. Her stomach hadn't been so flat then. She was his amazon. Why would he want to make her wear clothes?

He looked around.
"Where is everybody?" he asked.
"They're coming." she replied
"When?"
"Soon."
A shock of fear bolted through him.
"Where is She?" he asked alarmed. His head whipped around searching the shoreline.
"She's with everyone else. She's coming. Rest a bit."
He was tired, so he did. Dreams took him.

When he woke, the sun had fallen behind the mountains, and evening would come soon. He gathered wood set a fire. It was a small blaze, warm, with little smoke and flames that flickered pleasantly. He looked around and saw his fishing rod propped amongst others by a log, right near her blue longboard and his Hobie. The tide was going out so he entertained the idea of casting to see what he would catch.

Embers floated from the blaze like fireflies. Slowly, as the flames mesmerized him, whispers came to his ear as the sun set. By some strange acoustic sorcery, he thought he could hear voices. Rising from the fire, or was it the tide, or both? It sounded like people. Talking. Laughing & crying. He was so hypnotized by the sensation that the whispers began to sound familiar, like voices he knew, but the thought was discarded before it was fully examined. She was stirring from sleep. His consciousness encompassed her. His eyes swept across every curve; groped her. She yawned, and looked at him. Her eyes searched his. She laughed, twisted, and was on her feet in an instant. She sprang down the beach. He followed, dropping his board shorts as he went. No one would be here that soon.

Writen by Zack H. and dedicated to Aeneas and Julie.

The paint

2006-03-20T02:05:00.000-05:00

I found some time this weekend to get to painting the bike. I'd been riding it for the last month with just the raw fiberglass out of sheer need to get my head in the wind. I've been tossing and turning about how to go about this fucking paint job. I finally decided to recruit bryan's dad in the project...I'm glad it did. although I've done a fair amount of amature work before this was my intro to auto painting with a spray gun and compressors and reducer and blah blah blah. lucky for me lee is an old pro when It comes to this shit. It was pretty funny when he looked over at me and asked if I had a paint filter. ???? WTF. All I had done in the past was go to the paint shop and have them aerosol can up what ever I wanted. So we found some swiffer dust gloves, the dry kind, not the ones with chemicals on them and with a little engineering had a working paint filter. After that it was cake and the color looked great. I chose the ppg honda yellow and It really came out great. Took about three hours for set up and shooting the parts. We'er going to do the clear coat next weekend and I'll reasemble the bike soon after. Also got the new headlight jenn bought me for my birthday installed, ultra-white halogen that looks almost blue. This had been a long rebulid, but it has been well worth it. Thanks to everyone that helped. Chris for the use of his shop, without which I would have neer been able to even start and for staaying postive and keeping the morale up even at four am. Cy for the long night of fighting with the front suspension, Lee for helping with the paint. Jenn for stopping the entire build so I could fix her bike instead. lol...
Scott, for consantly telling me it was hopeless and to go spend my money on hookers and drugs, and Tony for continually reminding me that life in gereral is pointless and even more so without a bike and offering endless tips on suicide. And finally to the Gay Steel Workers of America... " Keep reaching for those stars."

Late Thoughts....

2006-02-20T01:56:00.000-05:00

It's nice here around 2am. The town is quite and the night is cool. Sitting here thinkin...and then not. I like the not. smile. Makes me feel better not to think somtimes. I have a habit of over thinking things, makes my brain sore. It's a bad habit, like biting my nails. I like to maintain a mellow temperence and focus on the now. So when over thinking begins I have to meditate on calm things and bring mysef back to the moment. The moment is...it's nice here at two am.... my box fan is humming and there is a cool breeze moving through the room. the only light is coming from my tv, which is muted and the screen of my dell. There is a slight ringing in my ears, but thats normal. From my desk I see some pictures of friends of mine, bryan and jill, aeneas and julie, kristin and jenn. There is a frieght train rolling through town and it just let out a lonley drone, the horn that replaced the whistle as it lumbers by the crossing at the state park. Off in the distance I can hear the slight rustle of leaves sliding across the tin roof, the fan is still humming softly. The sound of the keys of the computer as I type this doesnt affect the traquillity of the room. I think of the ride the other day, The same type of oneness of things that can be had from it can be gotten by simply bringing focus to the moment at hand. I live in " this moment, the now" and here is where life is pain is past tense, so is fear and ego. I enjoy this moment. Hope you do too.

A return to the road.

2006-02-17T11:31:00.000-05:00

Got the time and oppertunity to take the bike out with a friend yesterday. First real ride time I've had since I've repaired it. It was a little cool but fantastic. We left out of here around 1pm and went west on highway 42 in lake county. 42 is a medium used road that cuts through the bowls of old florida like a fat kid in the buffet line. Lots old houses and orchards, some of which date back 40 years, which for this state, is really hanging in there. We ended up in weirsdale and took a right on highway 25 west, finding a cool po-dunk bb-q place in the realitive middle of nowhere. Stopping for cheeseburgers and beer, we kicked back and enjoyed the hopstiality of the place. I love these little out of the way places, there usally not very busy and are great for killing time. just got to be carfule though, I've go into A few roadside bars and shortly after wondered if I'd ever get out again, except in bloodly hefty bag. but after one or two of those kinda of situations, you learn to spot those kind of bars and avoid them when not in the mood to fight for you life. this was one of the good kind.

Jen was all about the super cheezeburger she orderd, it filled some need ( other than hunger) and she just started mumbleing " hmmm happy" every 30 seconds or so. (shrug) We left and sped up into ocala, turing north and connecting with SR-40 east.
Following that through the forest and down into astor, stoped again for a shot and a brew at the steel around bar. Played some pool and sped away, trying to reach the house before sunset.

We rolled into my driveway at dark, parking the bikes and flopping into the chairs to watch the Simpsons...tired but happy... with the wind still ringing in our ears.

I am a bear of very little brain, and big words bother me.

2006-02-10T00:48:00.000-05:00

I find great comfort in that silly line. These last few days, weeks, month's...Man. man'o'man'o'man, where the fuck do I begin. It's like riding my bike backwards at 90 mph while trying to masturbate with the wrong hand...Could be fun for a while, but soon than later its gonna be messy. The days have all run into a kinda of sterile pine scented blur. I'm sleeping better though, but it wont last. Weird dreams. Last night I dreamt That I watched a little girl try to jump a ramp with her bike, She hit the ground hard and went unconscious. I then used opened my cheesebuger to call 911, the numbers on my phone where in the cheese, but I couldn't hear the operator, so I put the slice of cheese to my ear and grave her the directions, then threw it away. It kinda figures that I wouldn't get good service when making a call on a cheeseburger, but that's life.

Spent wendsday fishing with tony, caught a couple of trout, fed one two a pelican and let the other go. We smoked and chatted on the dock till dark, then met with jen and ate. Ended up at my place sitting by a fire getting drunk and talkin shit. Good times. Woke up and felt guilty for having such a good day. Really bummed out. I don't know why I get that way, Had I stayed home and not done shit, would have felt fine. Strange. Hard for me to justify having any real fun, and I have to or I' really get bent out shape about it. Not that I'm missing out on studying or doing anything productive, I could have really sat on my ass and felt better about myself than I did this morning. Felt like I was wasting time, But I spent it better that day then most days. Anyway, I was still a good day. Most of my fun Is derived from cleaning my guns and drinking with my class mates after class.. Much more in the mood to sit and listen to whatever anyone has to say. Been trying to go for a ride but shit keeps getting in the way mostly been pussing out cause of the temp, it drops to the 50s at night and I'm to old and tired to enjoy ridding in that kind of weather. Give me 80s at night and they'll never see me at home. The bike is riding great. Rather pleased bout that. Thank the great greasy gonads of god that this fusion school thing is all most over. Any longer and I'm driving a roofing nail through my skull. Flat end first. I moving to the hundred acre wood and putting up a great big fence with razor wire on it and a sign that says " Heavily armed, poorly medicated, Paranoid Bi-polar alcoholic ahead! Approach at own risk!" maybe that will help. Well this has been a great rant. If you want to hear more , don't worry, I'll be coming to an ambulance service near you real soon.

sungod

The Bike

2006-01-28T03:44:00.000-05:00

Here is the bike after the mock up. This kit from air-tech required quite a bit of cut and fit, but it does look really good. The tail piece came together well, I used the original half turn screws and pop riveted the brackets for them into the under tail, makes it look like factory. The upper cowl wasn't to hard except for mounting the fucking mirrors. The windscreen is looks short because I had to trim off the top part we broke trying to get it on. Drilling the holes for the mirror was sketchy, the stock fair stay even after we heated and repositioned it, still needed some torqing. The electrical back feed we discovered was normal for the bike, its how the turn signal indicator light gets its power. So much for all the advise from the dealer and cycle shops here, thanks for nothing. Since we are running flush mount led's as rear turn signals, we had to stop the backfeed because even the low low voltage from it was enough to light the signals. So we interrupted the system with two diode's wired in at the turn signal indicator bulb mounted behind the headlight and ran a new ground. Worked like a champ. Since the new fairing comes with only only headlight and the stock bike had two, I used the ground from the disused headlight plug. So Now I move to the scaryest part of the hole thing, the test ride. Now that all the parts are on and everything is tight and bright, I want to take it out for a good long ride before paint. Make sure everything is working and cool. I've taken in down the road after the mechanical repair was finished, but not to far. I think Monday will be a good day to give it a shot. If it all works, then I have the joy of taking it all apart again, and prepping and sanding and primering.....blah. You get the idea.

Anyway it's looking lot better than it did three month's ago. I missed all of the fall riding and that suckes ass! Definitely my favorite time, but Winters over and I've got the whole spring to catch up on me saddle time. I'll post more pics of the assembly when I get the time to load them. And don't worry, Painted pic's are comming soon.

let the goods time roll

sungod357

The Not-So-Great Biker build off.

2006-01-27T19:27:00.000-05:00

These are some of the pic's of my bike after the wreck. It's a 94 CBR..or at least it was. After pulling it out of the ditch and rising the thirteen pounds of mud and filth from it, this is what's left. Replaced the fairing with the GP replica kit from air-tech. The new kit is rather heavy-duty compared to other aftermarket body kits I've seen. The front forks were bent, so I found another set on ebay for 400$, which is great since they are about 1800 dollars for a set new . After that I replaced the front axle, brake lever, rear brake lever and piston, sand blasted bondoed and primered the fuel tank, new air box with K&N filter.Also new front and rear sprocket and o-ring chain. Right now I'm trying to wire in some flush mount led turn signals, but there is some electrical backfeed in the system, and I'm still trying to find where its coming from. So thats what I'm working on tonight. After that we just mount the tail and prep for paint. i'll keep up dating this and let ya'll kknow how its comming along.

c-ya sungod

For the cleansing of the spirit-cherokee prayer and blessing

2006-01-07T02:26:00.000-05:00

O' Great Spirit
Whose voice I hear in the winds,
And whose breath gives life
To all the world, hear me!
I am small and weak,
I need your strength and wisdom.
Let me walk in beauty,
And make my eyes ever behold
The red and purple sunset.
Make my hands Respect the things you have made,
And my ears sharp to hear your voice.
Make me wise,
So that I may understand
The things you have taught my people.
Let me learn the lessons
You have hidden In every leaf and rock.
I seek strength,
Not to be greater than my brother,
But to fight my greatest enemy- myself.
Make me always ready
To come to you with clean hands
And straight eyes.
So when life fades,
As the fading sunset,
My spirit may come to you
Without shame.

May the Warm Winds of Heaven

Blow softly upon your house.

May the Great Spirit

Bless all who enter there.

May your Mocassins

Make happy tracks

in many snows,

and may the Rainbow

Always touch your shoulder.

Stone Mountain, Ga - 2005

2005-12-07T00:32:00.000-05:00

It is not a high adventure but is quite entertaining and will make for a great story. The best part about this tale is that it takes place in the not so distant past. This story is best told among friends, so let's pretend that you and I are sitting by a quiet fire, the chairs are cozy and the whiskey is smooth. We are warm and comfortable even though there is a slight chill in the air. I light a smoke and began with...

The weather had been hit or miss all day. It began with a bright and hot Saturday morning, but with Florida's tenacity to be unpredictable, it clouded up by noon. "I don't give a fuck", said Brian. "It's going to rain one way or another, I just don't want to start the trip soaking wet". Brian always fnds a way to be as eloquent as possible. "Listen man," I replied. "We're outta here by five, rain or not!

I had spent the whole day packing and getting the bike ready. I ride a Honda CBR 900, a 94' and though I've spent plenty of time on the road, in the saddle or otherwise, this was the first out of state bike trip and I couldn't pack enough tools to make me relax. " Well what if this breaks, I gotta have that". I kept saying this to myself over and over again. Finally I settled on the basic cycle kit that comes with the bike and a good Allen wrench set to remove the fairings with if there's any trouble.

After getting the bike together I focused on my personal stuff. There is a book, which I have really taken to heart called" Zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance". In this book the author relates some of his personal motorcycle experiences. He also tells you how to pack a bag. Everything that you would normally figure out and a couple that you might not think of. Like shoelaces, I mean you normally wouldn't think that shoelaces could be a big deal, but if your 1-40, fifty miles outside Conway and you can't lace up your boot, you've got problems. This author also mentioned that you should always pack a book. I would have done this normally, but because of this I began to pack the same book on all my road trips, "Walden" by Thoreau. I like this book because of it's complicated nature and because I can read a few paragraphs and set the book on my chest and contemplate what he meant for hours.

We leave Deleon springs and head north on hi-way 17 toward Palatka. The air is humid and the roads are still wet, but most of the rainstorms have passed and we make great time. Reaching the junction we turn west and ride to hi-way 90 which will take us to Lake City where we will connect with S.R. 441. We stop and fuel on 441 right at the I-10 interchange. The sun has faded and twilight is upon us as we ride north, leaving the humidity and cares of Florida behind us. State road 441 is a long and lonely stretch of pine trees and love bugs. Brian and I past the state line and entered Georgia at about seven thirty, I stop at the border to put my helmet on, I hate helmet laws, but when in Rome.

Our first stop in Georgia was at a little self-serve car wash. It was the first chance we had to really walk around and stretch our legs. Man did it feel good. I lit a smoke and drank a little Mountain Dew as I did the soar-ass shuffle across the concrete. We had past so many little towns on the way, but all of them had rolled up the sidewalks early and became unfriendly to late night travelers. By this time we were both getting a little hungry, but were loath to leave the main road for a late night excursion to find food. Tired and hungry we continued on till we reached the town of Douglas. Stopping to fuel at the kwiki mart, a local sheriff pulled in to get a night shift coffee. I inquired about any twenty-four hour dinners and he referred us to the Huddle House about a mile up the road.

Good old huddle House, how many nights did I spent in your freezing cold booths, ordering shit I didn't want after drinking beer I didn't need. But I know that huddle house is 99.9% of the time operated by locals and they usually have the 411 on near by motels and which strip clubs to avoid. After piling on some steak and eggs and a polite conversation with the waitress we head down the road, seeking a Super Eight, which, according to local intelligence, is within a few miles.

We find the motel without to much trouble and stop for the night. Upon entering the room I crank the air conditioner down to artic and flop on the all too stiff motel mattress. Flipping on the T.V. I find the movie" The Professional" and sit back to smoke. Brian has already drifted off by the time I extinguish my Parliament, so I turn the volume down and let the shouts and gunfire lull me to sleep.

The next morning we find the day cool and slightly cloudy. Leaving quickly we continue north, riding though some beautiful country on our way to 1-20. Arriving on the interstate we turn west and ride boldly toward Stone Mountain, our final destination. After more speed and vulgar hand signals than I was prepared for, we exited the interstate and proceeded into the foothills of the mountain. Upon arriving at Brian's mother's house we were greeted by an ecstatic parent, man was she happy to see him. Unbeknownst to me this was the first time since the war that Brian had gotten a chance to visit with her, so this was something special.
After lots of hugging and stretching we settled in for the night with a bottle of Crown Royal and twelve pack of coke. We spent a week enjoying the southern hospitality of the small Georgia town and got in some good riding there also. We climbed the mountain twice and took lots of pictures. The day before we left I had some battery trouble and we received several calls on the developing weather back in Florida, something about a tropical storm named Charley? Anyway, after a few minor repairs and a couple of minutes at the weather channel, our plan was set to leave the following morning. I laid down early that night, both to give Brian some time to chat with his mom alone and to give myself plenty of time to rest.
I think it was around five am when the storm began and the thunder woke me up. The pounding rain was pouring down so hard I could hear it slaping the sliding glass door I was lying next to. I rolled over and decided not to care too much about anything at this point, but at nine that morning the rain had not let up yet. I rolled over again, remembering that no good decision was made in haste and my getting up right then would solve nothing.

So it was at ten thirty, between rain bands that Brian and I bid adieu to the fair town of Stone Mountain and began the long ass numbing ride down 1-75 toward the Sunshine State. The sun was not shining as we entered, or as we rode though rain and heavy traffic seeking the Promised Land. Stopping only for fuel, we pressed furiously on, fighting away pain and fatigue, exiting 1-75 six hours later in Ocala for that long but friendly road to my home. S.R 326 runs directly in to S.R 40, and 40, leads to Country Road 3, which to me might as well been my driveway. It wasn't till we reached that road that I removed my helmet and let the cool breeze wash away my pain. A minute later brain did the same. Together, my friend and I, rode side by side with flawless precision, each enjoying the moment in our own way. And as the trees pass and the pine needles tumbled in our wake, the limitations of this world fell away and for a brief time, we knew what it was like to be free.

Funny firehouse

2005-10-10T19:01:00.000-05:00

How do you rate at your fire Dept.

Chief
Leaps tall buildings in a single bound
Is more powerful than a locomative
Is faster than a speeding bullet
Walks on water
Gives policy to God.

Deputy Chief
Leaps short buildings in a single bound
Is more powerful than a switch engine
Is just as fast as a speeding bullet
Walks on water if the sea is calm
Talks with God.

Assistant Deputy Chief
Leaps short buildings with a running start and favorable winds
Is almost as powerful as a switch engine
Is faster than a speeding BB
Walks on water in an indoor swimming pool
Talks with God if special request is approved.

Platoon Chief
Barely clears a Quonset hut
Loses tug-of-war with a locomative
Can fire a speeding bullet
Swims well
Is ocassionally addressed by God.

District Chief
Makes high marks on the wall when trying to leap buildings
Is run over by a locomative
Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury
Dog paddles
Talks to animals

Captain
Runs into buildings
Reconizes locomotive two out of three times
Is not issued ammunition
Can't stay afloat with a life preserver
Talks to walls.

Senior Man
Falls over doorsteps when trying to enter buildings
Says, "Look at th choo-choo"
Wets himself with a water pistol
Plays in mud puddles
Mumbles to himself.

Firefighter
Lifts buildings and walks under them
Kicks locomotives off the tracks
Catches speeding bullets in his teeth and eats them
Freezes water with a single glance
HE IS GOD!!!!!

Laughter is the best medicine

2005-10-09T22:25:00.000-05:00

GOOD - BETTER - BEST

When Mr.. Wilkins answered the door late in the evening one
day after he'd lost his wife scuba diving, he was greeted by
two grim-faced policemen. "We're sorry to call on you at this
hour, Mr. Wilkens, but we have some information about your wife."

"Well...tell me!" he demanded.

The policeman said, "We have some bad news, some pretty good
news, and some really great news. Which do you want to hear first?"

Fearing the worse, Mr. Wilkins said, "Give me the bad news first."

So the policeman said, "I'm sorry to tell you sir, but we found
your wife's body this morning in San Francisco Bay."

"OH MY GOD!," said Mr. Wilkens, overcome by emotion. Then,
remembering what the policeman had said, he asked, "What's
the good news?"

"Well," said the policeman, "When we pulled her up she had two
five-pound lobsters and a dozen good size Dungeoness crabs on her."

"Huh?" he said, not understanding. "So, what's the great news?"

The policeman smiled, licked his chops, and said, "We're going
to pull her up again tomorrow morning."

Blond wants a Job as a Cop

A blonde walks into the police department looking for a job. The officer asks her some questions:

Officer: What's 2 + 2?

Blonde: Ummm... 4!

Officer: What's the square root of 100?

Blonde: Ummm... 10!

Officer: Good! Now, who killed Abraham Lincoln?

Blonde: Ummm... I dunno.

Officer: Well, you can go home and think about it. Come back tomorrow.

The blonde goes home and calls up one of her friends, who asks her if she got the job.

The blonde replies excitedly, "Not only did I get the job, I'm already working on a murder case!"

The State Patrolman Gets good answer

A guy is pulled over on a highway for excessive speed, when asked by the officer why he didnt immediately pull over and stop when he seen the police cruiser the fast thinking fellow had the perfect response...

"Well you see Officer its like this, a couple of weeks ago my wife ran off with a highway patrolman and when I seen the flashing lights I thought it was him trying to return her!"

The LAPD, the FBI and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.

The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigation, they conclude that rabbits do not exist.

The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads, they burn the forest, killing everything in it -- including the rabbit -- and make no apologies. "The rabbit had it coming."

The LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling, "Okay, okay, I'm a rabbit, I'm a rabbit."

The new CIA agents

Three men are going through CIA training, trying to become secret agents. They finally got through all their written and physical tests when they are pulled aside by one of the instructors who took them to a small room with another room adjacent to it.

They brought the first guy's wife into the room and left her there. The instructor then loaded two rounds into a pistol, handed it to the first man saying, "Go kill your wife of five years." The trainee took the weapon, went into the next room. He came back out one minute later and said, "I can't do it." The instructor replied, "Then you fail out, so get out."

The second candidate's wife was brought to the room. The instructor then loaded two rounds into a pistol, handed it to the second man and said, "Go kill your wife of ten years." The trainee took the weapon, went into the next room, but returned three minutes later and said, "I can't do it." The instructor replied, "Then you fail out - get out."

Finally, the third candidate's wife was left in the adjacent room. The instructor loaded two rounds into a pistol, handed it to the third man and said, "Go kill your wife of fifteen years." The trainee took the weapon, went into the next room where there is silence for one minute. Suddenly, there was the sound of two gunshot, followed by a huge commotion in the room.

The third man came out finally, sweating profusely, and said, "You gave me blanks, so I had to choke her."

TOP TEN SIGNS YOU'VE BEEN EXPOSED TO HAZARDOUS MATERIAL:

1) Two 18-wheelers collided. You arrive at the scene of the accident just in time to see the two drivers' bodies melt.

2) Your body hair is getting so coarse, it's starting to poke through your uniform.

3) You can predict the weather by the length of your bowel movements.

4) Instead of chocolate sprinkles, you ask for wood chips on your donuts.

5) You order raw meat at your favorite restaurant.

6) Your apartment is suddenly roach-free.

7) At night there's this eerie green glow - and it's you!

8) You start to generate electricity and sparks fly from your mouth when you drink water.

9) The tomatoes growing in your backyard are the size of pumpkins.

10) They transfer you to Area 51.

You Might be a Firefighter if...

1.You can tell what type of fire it is by the smell of smoke 10 miles away.
2.You have ever had a heated debate over the color of firetrucks.
3.You have ever spent 10 min trying to force open a door only to have someone come along and open it by turning the handle.
4.You have ever taken 10 or more showers in 1 day.
5.You lay out your cloths from that day so if there is a call at night you can find them quickly.
6.You take great joy in smashing the windows of a car parked in a fire zone or in front of a hydrant.
7.You have ever been airborne without an aircraft and water was your thrust.
8.You always wear red suspenders.
9.You have ever slept in a hosebed.
10.You carry a ton of specially modified tools in your pocket.
11.You ever cursed out someone for armor-alling the seats to make them look nice.
12.You've ever clung to the air horn chord for dear life because the driver is insane.
13.You have ever played jingle bells at Xmas time on the air horns to clear traffic.
14.You double your weight every time you go on a job a building.
15.You have ever said, "she's hot tonight" and not been talking about a girl.
16.You have ever had "yoda ears"
17.You have ever called a person found after a fire a "crispy critter"
18.You have ever smoked and there wasn't a cigarette in sight.
19.You have ever stomped out a fire with your boots because you couldn't wait for water.
20.You have ever walked 3 miles into the woods in 100 degree heat in full turnout gear and a 5 gal or more water can strapped on your back just to put out a fire.
21. your kids are afraid to get into water fights with you.
22. "climbing the corporate ladder" has nothing to do with career advancement.
23.your work gear makes you sound like Darth Vader.
24.You roll around in anything that just burned to make your new gear look old.
25.You take pride in the fact that you haven't washed your gear in years.
26.You carry enough in your pockets to give the Swiss army knives competition.
27.You carry enough in your car to extinguish a minor blaze.
28.You have ever juggled hot coals with your gloves.
29.Your Own vehicle has more lights than a Christmas tree.
30.All the shirts you own say you are a firefighter.
31.You find yourself living at the fire department 365 days a year!
32.When you go to rent a movie, and they insist on getting Backdraft EVERY TIME!
33.You are caught on the back of a truck with your girlfriend or wife in the middle of something and the page goes out for a call.
34.if you have more pagers than than money in your wallet.
35.if the smell of a fire excites you more than sex does.
36.if a great stop has nothing do with a moving vehicle.
37.if assembling a mile and a half of hose to catch fire in running up hill is a good day.
38.The microwave goes off and you run out of the house thinking it was your pager.
39.you ever tried to patent a 911 blocker with the phone Company
40.if you can hear that the siren will go off even before your dog notices it.
41.If you have ever woken up thinking your pager went off and as you look at it, it goes off
42. if you have ever tested your gloves by putting a fuzzie out on your hand.
43.If you have ever been awakened with a CO2 extinguisher
44.If you have ever dried your gloves on the trucks exhaust
45.You know you're a firefighter when you really think that rusty old hydrant looks good in the garden. :)
46.All your friends give you t-shirts from their departments for your birthday, Christmas, anniversary, etc.
47.if your wife voluntarily chooses the lumpy side of the bed to Avoid being trampled in route to a call!
48.your wife/girlfriend has learned to duck and cover when she hears the pager go off for fear of being run down.
49.if you had to extricate someone by cutting the car doors off on one side and realized there was nothing wrong with the doors on the other side.
50.If youhave more toy fire trucks than your kids do.
51.When you have ever made a jacuzzi out of a 2100 gallon dump tank and a rescue boat motor (15 horse Merc). ..It was hot!.............Watch yer toes!
52.When you take all of your improtant stuff (like wallets and pagers) out of your pockets before going to a training involving a portable tank.

Why guns are better than women.

2005-10-09T22:22:00.000-05:00

Ten reason's why some men prefer handguns over women:

#10. You can trade an old 44 for a new 22.

#9. You can keep one handgun at home and have another for when you're on the road.

#8. If you admire a friend's handgun and tell him so, he will probably let you try it out a few times.

#7. Your primary handgun doesn't mind if you keep another handgun for a backup.

#6. Your handgun will stay with you even if you run out of ammo.

#5. A handgun doesn't take up a lot of closet space.

#4. Handguns function normally every day of the month.

#3. A handgun doesn't ask , "Do these new grips make me look fat?"

#2. A handgun doesn't mind if you go to sleep after you use it.

And the number one reason a handgun is favored over a woman

#1. YOU CAN BUY A SILENCER FOR A HANDGUN.

Winter Willows

2005-10-09T21:15:00.000-05:00

Looking into this picture relaxes me. In it, it seems to me that it's only a minute away from snowing...and the silence of the wood that surrounds me is so perfect.... I hold my breath.... knowing the least of sounds will shatter it.

Quotes and things

2005-10-09T00:32:00.000-05:00

There are two mistakes one can make along the road to truth... not going all the way, and not starting.

Buddha

I have not lived untill I see God. And when I have seen Him, I will never die.

Me

I like your Chirst, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.

Mohandas Gandhi

And a woman spoke, saying,
Tell us of Pain, and he said:
Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding. Even as the stone of the fruit must break, that its heart may stand in the sun, so must you know pain.

And could you keep your heart in wonder at the daily miracles of your life, your pain would not seem less wondrous than your joy; and you would accept the seasons of your heart, even as you have always accepted the seasons that pass over the fields.

Kahlil Gibran
The Prophet

The Absolute is The One. There are infinite aspects of The One. The Tao is The Way that The One flows, shifts and creates.
Do not confuse The Way with The One.

Lao Tzu
The Tao of Power

Do not seek to follow in the footsteps of the men of old; seek what they sought.

Basho

From the pine tree
learn of the pine.
And from the bamboo
of the bamboo.

Basho

A human being is a part of the whole, called by us the "universe," a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings, as something separated from the rest - a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.

Albert Einstein

There is no point at which the universe ends and God begins.

Me

But Jesus called for the children and said, "Let the children come unto me; do not try to stop them; for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. Truly I tell you whoever does not accept the kingdom of God like a child, will never enter it."

Jesus
Luke 18: 16-17 REV

Listen or thy tongue will keep thee deaf.

American Indian Proverb

If you understand, things are just as they are.
If you do not understand, things are just as they are.

Zen Proverb

I decided that it was not wisdom that enabled poets to write their poetry, but a kind of instinct or inspiration, such as you find in seers and prophets who deliver all their sublime messages without knowing in the least what they mean.

Socrates

What the mind of man can conceive and believe, It can achieve."

Napoleon Hill

Nothing in the affairs of men is worthy of great anxiety.

Plato

Work like you don't need the money.
Dance like no one is watching.
And love like you've never been hurt.

Mark Twain

Taken from" The Tao"

2005-10-09T00:22:00.000-05:00

The softest thing in the universe
Overcomes the hardest thing in the universe.
That without substance can enter where there is no room.
Hence I know the value of non-action.

"Illusions"

2005-10-09T00:18:00.000-05:00

The current of the river swept silently over them all -
young and old, rich and poor, good and evil,
the current going its own way, knowing only its own crystal self.

Each creature in its own manner clung tightly
to the twigs and rocks of the river bottom,
for clinging was their way of life,
and resisting the current what each had learned from birth.

But one creature said at last, 'I am tired of clinging.
Though I cannot see it with my eyes,
I trust that the current knows where it is going.
I shall let go, and let it take me where it will.
Clinging, I shall die of boredom.'

The other creatures laughed and said,
'Fool! Let go, and that current you worship will throw you
tumbled and smashed by the current across the rocks,
and you will die quicker than boredom!'

But the one heeded them not, and taking a breath did let go,
and at once was tumbled and smashed by the current across the rocks

Yet in time, as the creature refused to cling again,
the current lifted him free from the bottom,
and he was bruised and hurt no more.

And the creatures downstream, to whom he was a stranger, cried,
'See a miracle! A creature like ourselves, yet he flies!
See the Messiah, come to save us all!'

And the one carried in the current said, 'I am no more Messiah than you.
The river delights to lift us free, if only we dare let go.
Our true work is this voyage, this adventure.'

But they cried the more, 'Saviour!' all the while clinging
to the rocks, and when they looked again he was gone,
and they were left alone making legends of a Saviour.

Richard Bach
from "Illusions"

Auto biography

2005-10-05T02:32:00.000-05:00

Shaun was born November 25th in the year of our Lord Nineteen Hundred Eighty, at 8:58 am…. It was Tuesday…and it was raining……

Hello and welcome to the autobiography of Shaun .Today we will feature the two main parts of Shaun’s life as they are now, fishing and motorcycling. These currently make up the body of not only how Shaun spends his time but who he is as a person. These defining characteristics will soon be shown to be so interrelated as to become as important as air and water.

Fishing: “It’s not a matter of life or death. It’s more important than that”.
That catch phrase has become the defining motto for Shaun’s attitude toward fishing. Learning the joy and tranquility of fishing, Shaun became an avid fisherman by his early teens. Often blowing off work or school to spend eight to ten plus hours at the river, he could go all day without food and last far into the night without sleep, not willing leave the fish he had not yet caught . It wasn’t until much later, closer to his twenties, did Shaun learn about saltwater fishing. It was love at first cast. The sheer variety of species was astonishing, and the technical and environmental changes brought a new series of challenges. Shaun’s path into saltwater fishing was helped greatly by a friend that had recently moved into New Smyrna Beach and through trial and error educated Shaun on the fundamentals of saltwater fishing. Being an apt pupil and learning all he could, Shaun began to redevelop his skills and soon become as proficient at fishing the saltwater as the fresh. It is after someone masters these skills, then that person can began to understand the Zen-like state one can reach while fishing: the solitude, sounds, and feelings of contentment that can be achieved by a good day on the water.

Motorcycling: “I love the smell of high–octane in the morning.”
“I love the smell of high-octane in the morning.” Shaun says as we warm up the bikes on a clear. Saturday morning. Its early Fall and this is our first ride of the new season.
We’ve been riding all summer, through the heat and humidity and afternoon thunderstorms and this is what we’ve been waiting for. Shaun double checks the straps on the tank bag and sprays on some more chain grease. “Seventy-five degrees, not too humid and not a cloud in the sky, it’s gonna be a good day.”

Shaun began riding motorcycles at thirteen. The first one was a 900cc Honda that his Uncle lent him. He would ride around the three acre lot behind his house for hours. Now ten years and six bikes later, the place he feels most at home is five hours on the road with no end in sight. The road calls to him and he answers.

The wind in the face and the sound of the engine as you blow through a pile of leaves on your way down a bumpy two-lane country road, Returning a wave to the kid on the front porch as you slip though his town. The best parts of riding are not even expressible except in intangible ideas. Once the breeze takes effect, all of life’s impossibilities begin to melt and life it self begins to flow, slowly, like a mountain stream during spring thaw, allowing you to drink it in. It is though this stream that life speaks to us, in the trickling and bubbling, whispering its endless answers. In this way we are able to communicate with the Universe directly and let it teach us who we are.

It is easy to see that Shaun’s passions are diversionary, but not that they are an escape from reality, more that they are a quest into the depths of reality, a window for viewing the Universe and seeking its truth. Like all good windows in our lives, these are as simple as a turn of a key or a flick of the wrist. The Universe is still out there, as it always will be, whispering, though the roads and rivers of our lives.

Free will and determinism

2005-10-05T02:24:00.000-05:00

I received this paper from bryan and just found it on a floppy disk. I think it will make for good reading here.

Determinism V.S. Free Will

The will of the individual is free. I believe that we have control of our actions to a certain point. We have the ability to differentiate between different ideas and make a decision based on our rationalized conclusion. We are partially free in society, we can decide on a decision, but the choices we can chose from are determined. The question lies are all things determined, some, or none?
Determinism leaves it that all things are what they are, and do what they do, because it has already been written that way and there is nothing that can be done about it. If this is true then we should all lie down and wait for the next action to come about. So then, that is to say that we all of us are only doing this because it was already determined that we would lie down and wait. So thinking has gone out the window and we have become machines, unless we do have some sort of free will.
Free Will is an idea that is based on the concept of choice, reason governs choice, and man has always had the ability of reason. Free Will is born from the ability to choose between different consequences. Determinism implies that we are incapable of reasoning and incapable of free thinking. That implies every idea, discovery, and thought was all predetermined. Nothing is original so therefore what is the use of man thinking?

Reasoning can not be explained by the brain process. We are governed by the brain but there is nothing that governs the brain. There is little evidence to build a case against free will. What governs and tells the brain what to do? The answer is free will. It is able to decide and rationalize between the pros and cons of a situation. This answers the problem that everything is casually determined, that is, that everything happens could not have happened other wise. The fact alone that man can and does choose between two or more decisions about his actions depending on the better outcome for himself or others lends us to believe that free will must exist.
Two of the main ingredients of free will are spontaneity and rationalism. We are able to assess a situation and make a rational decision. I can be hungry and decide to eat, or if I like I can starve myself, which as machines we would not be able to self destruct so I shouldn’t have that option unless I had some type of free will. I also have the choice between two different types of food, popcorn and an apple. I chose an apple. I chose between the two different types of food, but my ability to choose was determined by the fact that I was hungry. In society it is no different.
America requires that a child attend school to the age of sixteen. After that he has the option of furthering his education. He could drop out and join the work force or he could opt to further his education and get a higher paying job. Even though he does have the choice of what option to chose, more then likely he will try to further his education by finishing high school or even going on to college. Society pressures him to make this choice. He fears to make the wrong decision because of what society might think. So instead of dropping out he stays in school, and gets an education. This is just one example of free will with limitations. It is all a question of transcendence; do we believe that the categories of determinism are adequate to your total experience as a human being, especially moral and intellectual? There must be some reality or dimension to human behavior however dimly perceived.
In America we have more chances to practice free will. Our nation is based on free will. Yet even though we have one of the more free societies we still have constraints. I am free to walk down the street. Yet I have a limited choice of how to walk down the street. I can walk backwards if I choose. I could also walk sideways. There are hundreds of different ways that I could walk down the street. I could also choose to walk down the street in the nude, and if I was caught, I would be arrested.
In society we have the option to do whatever we want. Yet if it is disobedient to American laws or American society then we would suffer the consequences. So we are presented with multiple limitations. One of the biggest limitations in society is the law. If someone in society makes a wrong decision, he in turn must pay for his misconduct. These limits are decisions because it makes us fear to make the wrong decision. On the other hand being prompted by rewards we tend to make decisions that society feels are acceptable.
The best explanation of free will and how its beliefs came about would best be described by St. Augustine’s reference to God, and Adam and Eve. St. Augustine said "no righteous act could be performed except by free choice of the will, and I asserted that God gave it for this reason." Which actually means that God gave Adam and Eve free will, and Adam and Eve misused their free will, and so sin was brought into the world? Everybody after Adam and Eve have inherited this fall and have had a loss of free will but stay bonded to that will. So in the first humans free will was a condition of human hood but left open the door for sin. This is called the free-will defense.
If the will of an individual is not free then how can the individual be held morally responsible? If determinism was true then no one could be held morally responsible for one’s actions. Our actions can be changed, by what we chose. The punishment- reward system that is in place would be pointless. Yet society knows that free will does exist. That is why the punishment reward system is in place.
How free is the will of the individual? Although free will does have its limitations it does still exist. For instance we have the limitation of gravity, and gravity hinders are ability to fly. Yet that does not stop man from flying. We are limited by gravity, but because of free will we are able to overcome that limitation. The limitation of this example is gravity. Man himself can not fly, but he can create a machine that allows him to fly.
Media also affects our free will. We are bombarded by advertisements from radio, print ads, and television. It seems that we have a wide variety of products to choose from. We always chose what is most appealing to us. Media determines what we will choose yet it gives us the choice to choose. Advertisement is hardwired to appeal to every age and walk of life. It gives you so many choices yet also limits what you can choose. Things that are less advertised you will be less likely to buy.
If determinism was the constant belief of all it would almost render morality impossible. If it is true that all things are casually determined, then this must also apply to our willing and choosing. This would mean the denial of free will, and the end of morality. Why would we consider the idea of praise or blame if the person could not have done otherwise if they do not choose and act freely. This is why free will seems to many to be a condition for responsible and moral actions.
These ideas fall into the category of indeterminist who believe that all of our actions cannot be determined and that possibly the will is free of casual dermination. The determinist would say that that our wills are determined and there can be no morality, yet if morality is a fact then our wills must not be determined. And the fact is that we do all live our lives on the assumption that there is free will and that people are responsible. The determinist might claim that their position is true and all things are determined, but yet they cannot live as if it were true.
We are free in society to make decisions that affect our everyday life. Whether it is media, government, or laws we still maintain are free will yet these provide certain limitations. Yet all the decisions that we do make are all in some way effected by the society that we live in. Society contributes its input into most of our decisions. Society presents us with choices and is able to pick from the options that they present in front of us.

2005-09-30T02:27:00.000-05:00

JEN AND SCOTT AT SKYVENTURE.

Lies and nonsense

2005-09-27T20:46:00.000-05:00

It's been awhile since I paid any attention to this. I've been up to my eyeballs in cardiology. To my friends outside medic school, I'm SOOO sorry, I haven't been blowing you off I swear.. I'll try to make it up to you.

Things have been so fucking crazy in my life sine I started this...What the fuck was I thinking.. lol...hhhmmmm It will all be better after cardiology. After this everything will be better.

It's not just the classes and the studying and the rides and the O.R. AND DETOX AND THE FIRE AND THE HOSPITAL AND THE MEDICAL EXAMINER......along with all that have been taking up all my time. The rest is spent with these my new " clique" or posse as it were. I'm going nuts keeping up with these people, It's cool and I'm not bitching, but it's a lot more human interaction than normal. I'm used to being a lone wolf and now there are others around.

Scotty is the guy I sit next to in class. He is this really funny Irish guy that can drink Guinness and insult the bartender's whole family at the same time. He gets people by walking up to the "LINE" of human desecentcy and leaping from the edge.
Most people think he's certifiable, cause he'll say anything, But I know that deep down inside hides an wonderful human being.....And beneath that hides a homicidal maniac biding his time.

Tony is the guy who sits behind me. Tony is one of those guys that appears so trustworthy, so nice and normal, that even while he was fucking your girl in front of you, you would start making up reasons as to why it's her fault. Tony is also the most laid back overachiver I've ever seen. Tony has a sweetheart of a girl friend who lives in tampa, The reason I say this is after a full day of shooting and dinner and fishing with everyone, she leaves me a "thank you" voicemail.
That's never happened before. I'll love courteous people. Make me think humanity might survive after all. Then I go buy more ammo.

Jen is the chick that sits in front of me. She has aspirations of becoming a doctor. It seems that this field work thing is a little to warm and fuzzy for her and the real blood and guts of EMS is in ER physician. She is from Miami and is still pissed the Daytona doesn't have any good food. She has taking an interest in shooting and riding motorcycles, and just recently bought a 94 600cc CBR. Scott and I have been teaching her the ropes and she is ripping her way around florida. We just recently rode to gainsville to visit my cousin.

I think I've lucked out with the people that I sit near and have become friends with, they are some of the smartest in the class and that gives me drive to keep working hard. The class has divided up into several regular groups, and even though most everyone gets along, most also tend to keep to there own groups. There are a few people that drive others nuts, but shit happends.

Tomorrow I have a clinical at the medical examiers office. Then a drug study group, then class, then cardiology study group, then sleep, the cardiology test....it's going to be a long day. Things are looking good from here for now.

let the good times roll...

sungod357

Time rolls on....

2005-07-21T00:24:00.000-05:00

This is a picture of me and princess in front of the house. Getting ready for the second semester.
Things here are moving on slowly. I'm almost finished with the first part of paramedic school. It's been rough, but worth it. Other than that not much has happend here. Bryan and Jill got married in june out in louisana. Cy and jenn are having their second child.

thats all for now.

2005-05-22T15:03:00.000-05:00

Aeneas and Julie at Ponce Inlet 1996

still here...

2005-05-20T01:24:00.000-05:00

Hey there. not much been going on. its been very hard to pick up where i left off. i dont want to do anything see anyone or talk at all. I have started school again, it feels good to move around again. but life seems a little less....just less. I'm not gona mope forever, but i will for awhile longer.

Tia went to stay with lidia for a while, so she'll be having a blast. i love that little girl too death, she's such a sweetie. I think of her as my niece. they say that childern of that age have no concept of the finality of death. she does. aeneas and i took her fishing alot and she understood that when he or i cut the bait fish's head off..it was no longer alive and wasnt comming back.she really is that smart, for a 4 yr old.

on a light note bryan and jill are getting married in june and it should make for a lot of fun. cy and i are driving there together and that should also be a fun road trip.

well that about all for now, take care you ppl

later, shaun

a sad sad day

2005-04-08T06:06:00.000-05:00

I'm sorry for not up dating this sooner, but there has been some unpleasentness latley. One of my best friends and his wife were shot and killed on 3/28/05. the man who killed them went home and shot himself. Only their daughter survived. She was phyically not injured in the incident.

I have not yet come to grip with this occurence, even though we bruied them at sea last sunday. I still cannot look at a picture of them without loseing control of my self. So I just keep on thinking about other things. I went fishing with my friend the night before he died. we had a great night. I loved him like a brother...I still do...

I will write more when I can

small stuff

2005-03-02T00:06:00.000-05:00

Not feeling very creative today. sorta out of it. I went to the gym and cleaned my truck. How exciting. I am back in florida and I think I'm going to be here awhile. My driving trainer quit during the third week. He was tired of the job and had not gotten paid in like three weeks. So I returned to florida and am back in school. I took the entrance exam for paramedic and passed it. I am waiting for the fin. aid.
to come through. I might have a new job at the detox center in daytona. well see about that. so things are ok for now. :-)

continuing adventures

2005-01-30T23:05:00.000-05:00

It has been awhile since I've updated this blogger. I'm sorry about that, but I have been busy.

let's see here, ok. it's the end of jan and I'm in the on-the-job trainnig phase of the new job. I really like the company, swift is the largest trucking company in the u.s. and they take care of their drivers so far as I've seen. I've been out for 12 days now and am enjoying it alot. it does get tiring. but with so many different landscapes to see, that dosent really matter. we have just returned from san berendino, ca and my trainer and I took this weekend off. the nice thing about that is that when he takes off time i can either stay here in s.c. or go home, and the other thing is if i stay, then i still get paid for time off and it still counts as trainning days. we are issued 42 days of training before we become company drivers.
during training I get salary. which is good and bad. good because most of the new students are still afraid of the truck and have trouble adapting to the sleep scheaule. bad because I am not one of those students. it took two days for me to adapt and overcame my fear of the truck at my last job. now dont get me wrong, I have a very healthy respect for the truck and for what could happen if my attention lapses for just one second. but I'm also confident in my knowlage and driving abilities. the first 9 days on the road we logged 5,046 miles. thats a decent week for a team truck. but for a student truck its very good. now if I were getting the standerd team pay, then you take 5,046 multiply by .17(17-cents-per-mile)and you get 857.82 pre-tax. the bad thing about salary is this number is about 3 times more than the first two week pay scheaule, luckily the pay goes up the second two and third two weeks. then i get to test out and get assigned my own truck. thats when the real money for this job comes out.

so currently this is what i'm up to, driving my life away. i have lucked out and got a really good trainer and we seemed to hit it off so far. he invited me back to his place to stay with his family and have dinner durring his time off. i took him up on dinner but declined at staying their house. I know how valuble alone time is.
things are woking well with my training and in gereral. i hope that things are well with all of you. take care

welcome to 2005

2005-01-09T16:27:00.000-05:00

Wow, another year just shot by. That's cool. It was a good year. Everything is returning to normal after the holiday's. I just returned to florida after spending my new year in leesville with bryan.Things are going well with him and jill, They are engaged and plan for june 11th. Can't wait for that party.

I have landed a driving job with a better company and am leaving monday afternoon.
luckily they have a terminal in ocala, so the drive there wont be bad.
I'm looking forward to getting back on the road. Even though it can be boring at times, I like staying on the move. There is too much country out there I havent seen yet. I hope this year will be a good one for everyone. I know it will be a good year for me.

Sweet november

2004-11-18T19:33:00.000-05:00

Ah. I love autum. The sounds, smells and feeling you get from the clarity of the air. The sun begins to shine alittle less agressivly. The wind is now coming in from the north, bringing with it some balmier days and cooler evenings.

It has been rather mellow this last week. A brife respite from earlier this month. We had a party that began on the the third of this month and did'nt stop untill the 7th. People came and went, slept and ate. And like us the bonfire just kept burning.
Follow that with three keggers and one camping party, it made for a good start to the month.

The big news is that bryan is heading back to louisiana in december. He couldnt keep away from that sultry southern girl with the beautiful hair and the long eyelashes. "Me thinks my friend shall soon be imprisoned in the throes of matrimony, but were her my captor, a lesser than a life sentence would be unfitting".

It is good times in florida...

whiskey lullaby

2004-10-27T01:43:00.000-05:00

That's a great song. yeah, it's depressing but it's still good. it's nearly halloween and its just now geting cool outside. Good fire weather. had one tonight and last night actually. I love sitting by the fire and drinking wild turkey with friends. I've got that song playing now and I love that tune. so mellow. I've stopped worry about getting to sleep on time. its 2:48am and yeah school is at 9am
but so what. I've found that I really only need about four hours a day to stay sane.
anything more is a waste. Rather that lay in bed wishing I could get to sleep, i just stop trying and use that time to study. better to have all the work done than to be well rested.

be well.

Will wonders never cease

2004-09-16T12:41:00.000-05:00

I'm getting slightly off track with time line, but but I promise to straight all this out as soon as I get a a free month, one with no road trips or hurricane's or fishing trip's till 4am. Yeah like that's going to happen. I will be sure to start dating all the posts myself so you will know when they happened, no just when I wrote them.

So here we are. It's sept 16th and I'm back in Louisiana. I tell yeah this has been one serious road tripping year. This trip was to reunite, no wait, was to explore the possibility of reuniting lost love between Bryan and Jill. I must say that I was little skeptical, considering the way he returned to Florida with little in the way of warning.

Needless was my worry, for the welcome reflected each other's feelings and dissuade any animosity, well for the moment. It did seem that Bryan could have just got back from the store, the way they picked right where they left off. But Jill's beauty is evenly matched by her wits, it was not hard for her to sweetly and lovingly remind Bryan that some of his sins have finally caught up with him, and his redemption, although granted, will not be overnight.

It is becoming more rare to see someone genuinely happy and it's is increasingly more beautiful to witness because perfect happiness, like glory is, fleeting. One must do whatever it takes to find it, and what ever it takes to keep it....
Value it above all else.

Inclimate weather

2004-09-05T00:20:00.000-05:00

Wow, Who would have belived this, a hurricane, two tropical storms, another hurricane and off in the distance, another tropical strom. what the hell?

This really is un-belive-able. Its pouring rather hard out side and the wind sounds awful, and these are just the rain bands 150+ miles away from the eye. aneas and julie decided to hold out in new smyrna and cy sent jenn and cj to her brothers house
while he weatheres out the storm in the trailer. bryan is nonplused,the whole downstairs of his dad's house is underground so he's relaxing and wishing they would open the beach so he could surf. I boarded up early and have been dividing my time between the news, writing e-mails and smoking parliment's at the front stoop.
as a matter out fact it's time for one now so I'll be back

sungod357

Florida, colorado and beyond

2004-08-17T00:05:00.000-05:00

You'd think this would be a piece of cake, just sit down a write. Simple right.
I began this just for fun and thought that I'd keep it up every few days. That was three weeks ago and the only two posts are the two I wrote when I set the Fucking thing up. I have been super busy and without power for some of the time but I will try harder in the future to be more current. I now going to sum-up the last three weeks( the hell with the last year, it would take way to long and I would get nothing done) and try to get us back on track.

On the last Tuesday in July I got a early evening phone call from Julie asking if I could fly out to Colorado springs. Her mom Nancy was moving to Florida and she needed a driver to help. ROAD TRIP!!!! I was on it. Catching few zzz's that night I was on a 12:55pm from OIA with one stop and a change in Dallas.
I arrived in Colorado around 4:30pm and was driven to the u-haul terminal by some of Nancy's friends. Man, I'll tell you something, there are great things in the high places of the world, the air in Colorado springs was wonderful. Invigorating.

I met up with Nancy and we rolled out in this total frightening,197...? P.O.S. International with the loudest fucking diesel engine I've ever heard. When we began I didn't think that truck would make it to the edge of town. That first night of driving was the best. I love driving through places I've never been to and are even less likely to see again. We left Colorado heading south into Texas and through many fuel stops( both us and the truck)and getting slightly lost in downtown Amarillo, we made it to Conway on I-40 at about 7:00am, where we decided to hole up for the night.

Eight hours later after sleep and a shower, I wandered into the motel parking lot. If you've never been to Texas, Go, because until you do you will not have a concept of the word "BIG" as I mean it when I say Texas has a fucking BIG sky. I mean it's huge. I goes from your complete left horizontal axis to your complete right horizontal axis without anything getting in the fucking way. No trees,and if your not in a city no buildings.

Anyway, I walk under this big fucking sky to the dinner in the motel parking lot and find some breakfast. The owner is this kind goofy guy about thirty, missing his front left or right tooth I can't remember. Sort what you except to find working right here. Conway was a grouping of farms till someone got drunk and decided to call it a town, perhaps 60 people in as many square miles. He was nice and the place was too. He took my order, made it , and came back to chat about nothing in particular. He had moved there from Arkansas two years back and he and his wife also clean the rooms at the hotel. I chatted him up awhile and gave him an nine dollar tip, I never do that, but his wife was away at bingo and he admitted that she does all the serving and he really didn't know what he was doing. I thought it might boast his ego. It did.

Moving on, we set high goals that afternoon to make it to Sheaveport, Louisiana
by the next morning. Nancy was aching to drive today since I hogged it last night.
Packed up and ready we left Conway about six that evening, not to stop for four hours when the idea of buffalo burgers was voiced by Nancy. I, not having had buffalo anything before quickly agreed and we stopped at road side dinner with gift shop in the same building. Mostly cowboy and native American rip-off stuff found in truck stops. The kind they bill as being made by the hard-working indigenous people of wherever. But I would bet most of it didn't cost five bucks to make and the poor shmuck of an Indian didn't get ten of the ninety dollar asking price. I meandered in and out and went and had a buffalo steak. It was great.

Nancy was taken ill just west of Oklahoma city so I took over driving. It was a long haul but after more wind and signs and city lights than I had prepared myself for, dawn found us past Dallas and rolling steady on I-20 into Shreveport at 7:30am. Unbelievable!
It was this morning in Shreveport that we hit our first incident. While passing through Dallas/Fort worth I had picked up a head cold and it just began to make it's
self known with a raging sore throat. The kind that make you want to cry if you cough, and of course your going to cough. So sleep for me that day way short at best. Waking up at one o'clock, I stayed in bed trying not to think about the phrase "dry as a bone" till about five that night. Well, things are always better after a shower, and so was I, ready for the final leg of our trip.Cough drops in hand, we loaded the truck and did all things needful and were, after a short time back on the road.

South on I-49, We were hyped, stoked and all manner of excited, Florida was now within our grasp! Stopping only for fuel and a quick supper we pressed on to I-10
and then came the final gallop. Egging every horse of power from that diesel engine
beyond music beyond sleep we crossed in to Florida and arrived in Pensacola at 3:55am
Saturday morning. Yet we did not stop there, our destination being so close.
Fumes poured from our truck as we race across the sunshine state, dawns first light come and gone, leaving a brightly lit day before us. It began slowly, the dropping of my eyelids, one at a time, so as not to startle me. I realized that I could not continue this crusade and must rest awhile. So trading with my partner, though she must been exhausted also, willingly and eagerly took the wheel and spelled me for several hours which I well needed. Returning to the wheel I brought us into
St. Augustine close to one o'clock.

Now we reached the dreaded part of this trip, the unloading. Yet with the work of Aeneas and Ryan ( I mainly supervised) the work was done in less than two hours and we all retired to Ryan's house for drinks. After a brief hop to the beach, the bon-I-fide surf Nazi's loaded their jeep and joined us for the drive into New Smyrna beach.
upon arrival we unloaded her suv and returned the trailer to the u-haul place (funny story that, ask me sometime) and got a few beers and proceeded to pound them till I got a lift home.

That is the last week in July and a good place to stop for the night in my sum-up
I will be continuing with the motorcycle trip to Georgia that left the following Thursday. Till then.....Good Times...sungod :-)

That's better.

2004-07-25T21:15:00.000-05:00

And it is, much better today. Well now that I think I've got this figured out we can all begin to relax...go ahead and take a moment to yourself..I'll wait.

That's better. I will try to sum up the last seven months in the next few days.
If you know me then I should'nt need to go back that much farther, And if you don't, just drop me an e-mail and I'll fill you in there.

I began this after witnessing the sucess of a friend of mine's page and seeing how easily cathing up on current events could be if I just post them roughly as they happen insted of repeating myself over and over again, which I seem to to anyway quite often.

So welcome to Sungod357. A forum for discussion on anything and everything
There will be alot of talk about fishing, mostly saltwater, Inshore till I get a bigger boat. There will most likely be some bar stories, and updates on the trials and tribulations that are my life. I hope you enjoy the commentary and plz e-mail me with any ideas,suggestions,or pics that you might have. Thx- Sungod

Easy Summer

2004-07-25T00:30:00.000-05:00

This is the best time of year in florida. I know..I know summer is probley the best time of year everywhere, but realy enjoy is here. It's the time that everyone is up and motivated, stuff's movin, days at the beach, fishing, canoeing....early afternoon bbq's that turn into early morning at the dinner.